Prologue
MONICA
When my brother went on his frenzy last year to get the girl of his dreams, yes, I escaped because two people on a rampage at one event would have been crazy. I had wanted to attack Jackson when he aimed for Clare.
Those gunshots went off and I ran to get the ransom money just in case Tyler got caught up behind bars…which he did.
I made a promise to him that I’ll get revenge for both of us. Jackson owed me. I don’t give a shit about this new life he’s creating. Monica gets what she wants at all costs. It must be a trait from my mother.
I got fired from the company we worked at and I’m now the VP of Build Up Inc, baby! Still in tech, I produce ideas on how to grow the company and things, but I’ll tap on that later…or not. First, revenge. The sweetest taste, for me….
I’ve been texting Jackson, hoping he’ll do as I say and just give me the dick. Why is it so hard to be the same man just one more time. I mean, look at me. I’m fine ass hell! We were so close to sex last time, if his assistant hadn’t blocked me.
Shooting these blackmail texts didn’t do shit. So now I have to take it up a notch. I know for sure the sex tape got to him. He didn’t think he’d get caught like that. Clare has got to know about us by now, but will he show her the tape is another thing.
THE BEGINNING
Chapter 1
CLARE
I’m in the doctor’s office, in King’s County. Right after our honeymoon. We went to the Bahama’s and stayed for a week. While I enjoyed the water, I also felt ill, morning sickness was kicking my ass.
Anyways, back home in Brooklyn now and I miss the breeze from the vacation. The doctor comes in, takes me away from my memory and assures me that I’ll be fine. My weight hasn’t changed. My vitals are healthy. She said, I should go on bedrest for a few days, just until my nausea calms down. Jackson asks, “Will she be high risk?”
The doctor, Mrs. Scribner says, “While she has anxiety and PTSD from her encounters last year, I think she’ll be fine. I don’t have to worry about her having a safe pregnancy because you seem like a wonderful man.”
Jackson blushes, “Thank you ma’am.”
She turns to me, “Alright Mrs. Miller. Keep taking your prenatals. You can drink tea or eat sour candy to heal your sickness. It worked for me.” She winked.
“Thank you.”
“It’s no problem,” she’s checking the chart. “I know you don’t care about this, but we believe in transparency. We received Tyler’s dna by through the jail system and we did let him know that he has 0% paternity.”
Jackson’s vein in his head pops out. He says, “Respectfully, miss. What does that do for us?”
“Well, in cases where I’ve seen psychotic people in love, I know they can act…irrational at the news. Let us know if you need anything. I’m happy to help.”
Jackson says, “Great! Just what I need–“
I interrupt him, sitting up on the bed, and touch his arm, “Uh. Thank you doctor. I appreciate it. We will keep a look out.”
I want to have you come back and see me, let me run out and get the referrals for another bloodwork and your gestational test and I will send you home.
“Okay,” I say.
Jackson says, “Babe. I be right back. I’m going to make a call.” He gives me a kiss.
He walks out and I grab my phone to text my girls that I’m all good. Then I scroll social media.
From the corner of my eye, I see a shadow at the door. Assuming it’s people in passing, I don’t pay it no mind. But my senses keep telling me to look over there.
Nothing.
I sigh. “This shit making me get up and walk to the door.” I head on over to the door, keeping my eye contact there.
This time, I see two eyes glare at me and smile. I wobble quickly to the door and the face disappears. I yank the door open and say, “TYLER YOU ARE NOT SLICK MY GUY!”
But I’m faced by Jackson and Mrs. Scribner. Jackson walks in and grabs my hand. “Baby, what’s wrong? Tyler? Come, let’s sit down.”
The doctor follows behind us as I return to sit. She locks the door behind her.
I breathe in. “There were eyes looking at me. I swear! It was fast so at first, I thought it was just people walking by, maybe even someone looking for their mate in a room. But as I got closer, they smiled. I open the door to attack and here you guys were.”
Jackson’s twiddling my thumb with his.
The doctor says, “Sweetie. I totally understand. Want some water? Breathe in. Breathe out. Here are your papers. You need to get home and rest.” She turns to the water fountain and give me a cup.
“I’ll see you in two weeks. Please, be careful. Leave whenever you are ready.”
Jackson says, “Thank you. We appreciate it.”
I just sit and think about everything that happened. After 5 minutes, I’m ready to go. Jackson leads, holding me tight as we exit.
Soon as we get in the car, I’m silent. I tell myself that I’ll get past this. But, I know what I saw. If it wasn’t Tyler then it had to be…MONICA!
********
It’s Jackson and I’s one year wedding anniversary. I can’t believe I’m officially Mrs. Miller! Just a while ago, I knew for sure he was going to leave me. I had too much baggage. Jackson proved me wrong and showed me he is my ride or die.
As I look at our babies sleeping in their cribs, Charlotte and Levi, I can’t believe I’m a mom. It hasn’t been easy, two babies, two different schedules. Jackson’s been amazing help, he took as much paternity leave as he wanted to because he’s his own boss. He just checks on his company throughout the day when I don’t need him. Since I experienced a lot last year, he wanted to give me full care.
I have PTSD and it’s rough being home alone. Kayla video calls me or I have to ask her to stop by when my anxiety rises. When Jackson goes back to work next week, I’ll be blowing him up when I suffer from panic attacks. My mother will be here on the weekends to help with the kids.
When I go to the store, I’m checking every isle, behind me, and my car all the time. Tyler is very skilled and he can show up at any time. There was one time I was at the grocery store, alone and someone was putting their items on the counter to pay. The man said, “Excuse me miss,” and I jumped for no reason. He was kind, however and issued a bunch of “I’m sorry.” I never told Jackson or Kayla because they have enough to worry about.
I also very rarely look out the window and our area is so beautiful. Thank God for the routine with the babies because they provide distractions at the best time. They give me a routine I need to stay afloat of my own mind.
Kayla and Quentin’s baby, Grayson, is so adorable. Our little ones play well together and I cannot wait to see them grow up together. She gave birth a month after me.
To go to sleep at night, I play soothing music. Most times I fall asleep in the twins room, resting on the couch we put in there.
Last year passed by so fast, I still can’t digest it all. My mother insists I forget about….him. I wish my temporary coma got rid of the memories.
For now I’m glad Tyler is gone. I hope he never returns. I didn’t know I had the power to make someone go madly insane.
To avoid rehashing those memories, I think about Jackson’s gorgeous face.
In a hunch, he comes in the room and wraps his arms around me.
“Hey baby. You okay?”
I sigh. Then I smile. “Yes baby. Just embracing the moment.”
“I respect it. Just come to bed…please. The babies are fine. We’re good. I got you, now and always.”
“Okay love. You’re right. Let’s go,” I say, as I give the kids one last look.
Jackson kisses me. “I can make you forget reality for about 45 minutes.” He turns me around and places his hands on my butt.
“Oh yeah? Let’s go then.”
“Don’t say nothing when you get pregnant again!”
I laugh. “Bye Jackson!”
“What? You know I’m just saying.”
We giggle and quietly shut the door. We head over to our room next door.
I shut the door and rush Jackson to the bed. We start making out. He strips me out my negligee. I take off his shirt. When I lean down to kiss him, I close my eyes. I instantly get a flashback of Tyler. I inhale and hop off of Jackson. I yank the blinds closed.
“I’m sorry Jackson. I-I…” I stammer.
“It’s ok Clare. Really. I understand, really. It’s been tough after what he did to you. Do you want to stop?”
I think. “No. I just had a moment. Let’s have sex on the floor.”
“Whatever you want.” Jackson playfully throws himself on the floor. “Take Me!!” His arms are spread wide. He signals for me to come and his dick is super hard.
Shaking off the past, I laugh and rush to freak him before the babies wake up!
Chapter 2
JACKSON
I wake up Clare snoring next to me. It’s 5:45a.m. The kids will be up soon. So I’ll get a head start and let her rest some more. I put on my boxers and throw on my robe.
Sex last night was fantastic. I could give another baby, but we will give it some time since we have twins. Which was a lovely surprise. I’m glad even though she was rambunctious with her actions, they turned out to be mine. I love their caramel skin, and big bold eyes. Their personalities are showing more and more.
The Glamma’s have been extremely helpful and I’m appreciative for my mama as I get hectic work hours some weeks since owning my own company.
Clare doesn’t know it yet, but I plan on having Q and Kayla stop by today. Their day is usally Thursday but they can come anytime really. We all been hustling.
I convinced Clare to work from home. She doesn’t have to start right away, but she can start doing paid book reviews with a Youtube channel. I told her I’d sponsor whatever she need.
I walk to the kitchen to make pancakes, chessy eggs, bacon and waffles. As soon as I get the fpod prepped, I hear Levi. That means Charlotte will be up next. I head over to him, kiss him, change his diaper and put him down. He sits down, while I pick up Char and do the same. She smiles. I kiss her too. They both been walking since 6 months.
I guide them to their highchairs. We have a one level house for now, while Clare heals from her experiences.
Once they are strapped up, I get the stove going for breakfast.
My phone starts ringing.
Ready to flip pancakes. I answer without looking at the Caller ID.
“Yo talk to me!”
“You won’t get away with this nigga!”
I look at the phone. I suck my teeth, “Yo who is this and who the fuck you think you talking to?”
“Oh don’t worry about it. Just know your karma isn’t over.”
“Ayo. Tell me who this is right now! Better not be Tyler!!”
Click.
“MAN, FUCK THIS!” I throw the phone on the counter.
The babies stare at me. “I’m sorry my loves. Daddy is making you breakfast. How about some bananas while you wait?”
Clare’s feet are shuffling down the hall. When she comes in the kitchen, she yawns. “Baby. What was that? You ok?”
I kiss her on the lips. “Yeah just some prank call. You can lie back down.”
“I’m alright. I want some of this breakfast too,” she sits down on the bar stool.
My phone vibrates and we both look at it with weary. She reads the name. “Baby, it’s Quentin. Are you going to answer?”
“Oh. Yeah, hit the answer button for me and put to my ear while I start the bacon, please.”
Clare answers. “Hey Q. Yeah he is making breakfast. Hold on.” She puts the phone to my ear.
I say, “What’s good Q?”
He says, “Nothing much. Up with baby boy.”
“Shit. I hear you. The gang is all up over here too.”
“Right. Listen we’ll be over there by 1. I’m going to stop by the job then come back and let Kay rest.”
I nod. He can’t see me. “Aight cool. We’ll be here.”
“Later bro.”
“Later,” I wipe my hands then put the phone down since he hung up. I look over and Clare is playing a learning card game with the kids.
The first batch of pancakes are ready so I serve the babies. I pour apple juice in their sippy cups.
“Clare. I have a surprise for you…”
She eyes me. Her eyebrow raises and she says, “Umm Q and Kayla are coming?”
“Shoot! You heard huh?”
“Yup. Volume was on 10.”
“Actually that was just Q. He’s always loud,” I chuckle.
Breakfast is now done. I create it all buffet style and make Clare her own serving. Then I plate mine, putting more pieces of bacon on it. I rev up the coffee machine.
We sit and dig in, before she asks, I tell her, “I know it’s on your mind so I’ll tell you. I got a random call before Quentin called. It was weird. I won’t say it was …you know….Mr. Nameless. But I just might look into it and see if screening my phone will trace them.”
Clare blinked…hard. I gave her a glass of water.
I make us two caramel lattes. Behind me, she says, “Are you sure? Was it Ty…Ty…Tyler?”
I hand her the coffee and say, “Let’s not cause problems today. You don’t worry about that. Look at our beautiful babies. Today is all about fun.”
She hands Levi and Char more eggs. “Alright. Fine. You win. I can’t wait to see our friends. But. Be careful digging. That IT stuff can get very dark.”
I walk over to her, wrap my arms around her and hold her. I kiss her forehead. I say, “Don’t worry about it baby. I got it.” I lift her chin and gaze into her eyes. I smooch her on the lips.
She closes her eyes. Her tongue slides in my mouth, just as Levi screams.
We pause and say, “time to clean up.”
I walk over to Levi and tell Clare to keep eating. I clean his area and let him down to play. Then I take care of Charlotte. Throwing their scraps away, I massage Clare’s shoulders.
I put the kids in their room with the gate blocking the door so I can watch them play as I observe Clare. We sit and drink coffee together.
When she’s done, I massage her feet. She starts moaning.
“Mmmm. Thank you Jackson.”
“I’m here to care for you.”
“This is so relaxing. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Clare opens her eyes and removes her feet. “Let’s spend some time in the room with the twins. Then watch a movie before we have company.
“Sure thing.”
I follow behind her after putting the dishes in the dishwasher. “Dad’s ready to have some fun!”
The twins yell and jump on me.
Guess I’m a horse for now.
********* One Hour Later*******
Clare picked a movie for us to watch in the living room. She chose, Minions so the kids can be engaged as well.
I heat up Popcorn and refill their sippy cups. I also provide them a tray of veggie chips.
While watching the movie, Clare starts yawning. The kids are on the floor, sitting indian style being cooperative.
I grab two diapers from the room and prepare to change them. When I come back out, Clare is wrapped in the blanket, knocked out. I smile.
I lean down, kiss her, and pull the blanket to her chest. I change Charlotte first, then Levi. When I’m done, I say, “Alrighty kiddos. Let’s give mama some quiet. How about books in the room? We can watch this later.”
They look at each other then at me. They run to the room. I trail behind them. Clare has an hour and a half before Q and Kayla comes. I’ll let her sleep until then.
After the movie, in the kids’ room, I grab Green, Eggs and Ham. Then I sit down on their playmat with my legs folded. I gesture for them to sit with me. A little of a battle, but they finally sit down.
Charlotte passes out on my lap and Levi falls asleep on the mat. Normally I move them to their cribs, but instead I sneak away and grab two blankets to wrap them in and pillows for their heads.
I check my phone texts. The bros hit me up saying I need a night out. Maybe, only if Kayla and the other ladies come to be with Clare.
Then there’s a text I thought I’d never see.
My lips miss being wrapped around that chocolate, long, dick. I will find you and I will fuck the shit out of you. Your little girlfriend…oops, WIFE –can’t stop me.
Monica. I thought she was gone, right along with her brother. However, they just can’t leave us alone. I delete the message and swear to myself not to tell Clare.
I lay and stare at my babies. Now I’m the one getting tired….
© Eliza Rose Copyright 2022
DON’T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE FIRST BOOK IN THE SERIES!
Also, the first chapter in Crisis of Lust BOOK ONE is available here!
Shade But No Shade 