Shade is a Mom!

Sorry for the disappearance since March. I was pregnant and hormonal and going through ups and downs with my bf…

I had a high risk pregnancy until about 30 weeks and let me say that I worried about everythaaannngggg!!

When I didn’t feel the same movements from baby as usual I went to the hospital a week before my scheduled c-section. He was fine and I was actually contracting without knowing or feeling it!

Now I may or may not have mentioned it, but I had a daughter born 22 weeks Sept 4th 2017 and she passed Sept 11th 2017….emergency c section.

I had major baby fever after and wanted a baby to hold so I wanted to try again and that I did!

My handsome baby boy was born June 21st at 4:33pm. So precious ❤ (Pics maybe laterrr)

He is 4 months now and a mommy’s boy!!! I LOOOVVVEEEE IT!!! It’s part from breastfeeding, part from holding him all the time which is why he is all up on mommy! Hehe

The best times are the snuggles! We started with tummy cuddles and now we co-sleep. I missed placing him on my tummy and falling asleep like that at 1st but now co-sleeping is easier!

Dad works and hardly participated but it wasn’t until recently that I make him little by little by going to the store and getting my hair done. BUT he works so I accept it as Im not working right now.

Dad has finally bonded and now our son loves him and cries for him sometimes (but loves me more)

Our relationship has gotten better. We don’t argue, we are understanding each other. I didn’t have much of a sex drive at 1st. I was allll baby & I’m sure my mothers out there can relate. Now it is creepin back slowly and YES I’M ON BIRTH CONTROL! Noneed for another too soon and I like having my body back (just not the boobs, those are his) Everything is falling into place. Maybe it’s the baby 😁.

His name is Junior *nickname* (He’s named after his father)

I am also taking 1 online class at a time at Southern New Hampshire University!! Master’s in English Creative Writing! (I’ll discuss in New Post)

I miss my bloggers soooo much! I’ll try to be more active now that I have energy :P.

Talk to me!

Catch Shade any time of the day! Shade is on Facebook! https://facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

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The Thirst is Real!!

So let me tell y’all….

I’ve experienced my fair share of women testing my patience when it comes to my relationship.

There was one scenario about 3 months ago that I had to hold everything within me to stay mature!

Remember how I told y’a’ll that I am not ratchet? So yeah I had to keep that up for the moment and assess the situation before I became a different person….

Anyways let me rant to you!

My babe and I went to Friday’s as we always do before seeing a movie at the theater across the street from it.

He went to get the movie tickets so I made his order for him.

I told this heffa of a waitress his order and told her THAT IS IT! Of course with my order.

She felt the need to come back when he returned and asked him if he wanted anything else…..

Okay I let that slide… that wasn’t the part that made me wanna snatch her ugly ass wig!

This next thing I am about to tell you is what made me want to go all Love and Hip hop on that ass! 

Oooh I Like It When You Touch Me There!

Ahh this touchy subject….literally…

The time you lost your virginity. When everything was confusing.

The feeling was amazing….

The feeling was painful….

When girls spiel “I love you” for no damn reason…

When guys can’t handle her spiel…

The awkwardness and wondering when it will stop being awkward….

When a girl runs and shares wit her homegirls all the details…

When a boy fronts and tells his boys half the truth about it…

That’s right ladies and gents this post is all about SEX!

Queue song!

 

Okay no seriously….I remember my first time. It was fun when I was in the moment, but looking back at it I wish I waited a little longer. Don’t you hate that? When you almost regret something because your mind wasn’t mature enough to make the right decision….

Yeah sooo sadly I grew up in a home where the birds and the bees was not discussed. My dad passed away when I was 3, so all I had was my mom. She has been in and out of relationships trying to figure out her own life that she couldn’t even teach me or my brother the ropes of sex. My brother might have learned from friends or my uncle(s), or maybe even figured it out on his own. I on the other hand had to ride solo….

I was unfortunately 14 years old when I lost my virginity. Yikes. Yeah I know. Silly me. But that is the type of freedom I had. 

Clean Up Your Mess!

Lately, I have been having the same discussions with 2 different people and get the same feedback.

No offense boys….

No offense men….

But why you gotta be so messy?!!

Now I must say my current bf makes his messes and …

IT IS STARTING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY!!

My best friend is dealing with the same issue, but her bf is a little more messier.

But my boyfriend and I just got an apartment together….

Ladies and gentlemen…

It’s only been a month and I already see the man slob.

SMH!

I get that sometimes you are a busy person and just want to throw clothes here and there but….when you have that day off, don’t you think you should pick it up?

YES YOU!

Him too, I guess 😀

Pure example…(my I use ellipses a lot..oops! Moving on..) After doing a butt-load of house cleaning 2 weeks ago; organizing the things we have in our 2 bedroom apartment with no furniture but at least it isn’t all cluttered in the living room with the dog….we accumulate laundry. His load higher than mine because he works every day and I am home at the moment.

Granted, we didn’t have a laundry bag because the bags were at the laundromat for drop off…yeah he hates washing clothes and swooped me into drop offs too…but when the bag came and it appeared empty, you would have thought he would put the dirty clothes in the laundry bag! Especially if he makes a new mess every day!

#Myfeelingsrightnow

He didn’t….that’s right ladies, shake your head because I am shaking it too.

I needed a break! I broke my back (not literally) cleaning the whole apartment and he can’t do the least thing. Just like when we got the clothes back, you would think he would organize and put them away…nope and they are still not put away because I take me time every day and he goes to work every day!

Then just yesterday he hooked the bathroom up with a softer seat, shower curtain and rugs and you would think he would throw away the plastics it came in…the garbage is right there!

NOPE!

Do I have to blow up for him to get the point?!!

Maybe….but I’ll talk to him about it instead. It’s just ugghhh!

I don’t mind being a housewife even though I don’t have a ring yet, but boyfriend needs to clean after himself cause he is not too busy to stay clean….

If you can shower, you can NOT be messy!

Good thing it is only 2 things so far, but geez…..I will train my son whenever I have him to be clean, not messy.

Oops did I say 2? Yeah I meant 3….I looked up as I thought about if this was enough and saw a pile of games on the floor (Oh, I am sitting on an airbed right now).

He scattered ps4 and Wii games all over to find one ps4 game…expecting me to clean it up….right?  RIGHT? Well I am NOT because it is his mess. SMH! #RantOver

Come on boys and men, tell me why you guys feel the need to be messy and expect women to clean up after you? 

Hey Hey Shade is still on Facebook! Follow her at https://www.facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

Hello Friends!

It has been some time….I took an unnecessary vacation. But in the upcoming posts, you will see what I have been up to in the meantime. I know, I suck at this coming back and staying around thing, but hey I am working on commitment okay! Literally, for WP and in my life outside of the internet…..

I have been through a lot….most of which is too private for your eyes because it is a touching subject and hard when many voices will disagree sooo I will keep that one to myself but I will describe it in a way that will probably be open to the eyes of the understanding. Confusing? Wait for it and you’ll know what I mean.

Tonight, I realized I need to focus on the things I lost touch on before I give up on my dreams entirely…

In life I want to be an author sitting at Barnes and Noble all over the globe having people ask for my autograph. However, I will never get there if I don’t write all the stories I left behind in my mind and in a file on my computer because life keeps slapping me in the face.

WordPress was my open gate in 2015 to get to that driven part of me that was going to continue one of the 3 books I have started. But 2015 and 2016 have failed me in which I have come to realize I am halfway through yet another year and have not done that one goal. I let things take over me and stress me out to the point where I forget about that little peace of hope and freedom in my mind that makes me write for hours!!

For Christ sake I had over 50 diaries as a child!! I wrote in plain old notebooks by the way! Wrote out my life as if someone was going to read them besides me. How embarrassing the stories were when I actually read them at maybe 21, but I threw them all out because I became a brand new person.

I am still figuring myself out, but I can say I did a lot better than I did at 14. I think I am finally at a place in my life where I can write those stories, even if it takes a year a piece. I enjoyed making my own stories as much as I do creating a blog that probably no one is going to read every day. It’s okay, I know I talk to myself on this thing a lot :P.

I put WordPress on my resume simply because it is apart of me. I told myself I will create this and at some point this was my baby. I posted every Sunday and Thursday as if I was getting paid to do so. Then life happened and I got lost in reality. I will try to maintain this site like I used to. I have to. If not for me, but for you. I realized that my voice speaks to people and I never would have guessed that if I didn’t start off here.

I enjoy when people read what I write. I just have to remember that even when I write my books. I hope one day my WordPress friends will see Shade But No Shade bigger than what it is and will come to Shade’s autograph signings although I don’t have a pen name as an author yet and I don’t know if I ever will. I like my original name, but it is also common. I want a name that stands out, not blends in. My favorite author Zane has a pen name…it’s Zane. She created an identity, just like my other author Cairo. I want…no need a name like theirs where I can be talked about and others not know who I am but want to find out……

How’s that for an epiphany? A revelation? Growing up?

Whatever it is….I like that I am figuring it out along the way.

New things are coming to this blog including more topics, some drawings which I find thing off the internet and draw for fun, movie reviews and more.

I am going to try this again as well……anything you like for me to touch on? Hit me up!

Don’t forget Shade But No Shade still has Facebook! Add me at https://www.facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

Renovate Your Valentine’s Day!!

Let’s cut right into it. You dread this day. It’s like any other ordinary day. Right? This day is overrated and very dramatized to the point where if you don’t have a Valentine your friends question your life.

You’re sick of hearing “Who’s your valentine this year?” If you have none.

But that’s okay, I hope you downloaded the new Imaginary Boyfriend app to play pretend for just a day.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Check out the link! It’s available on all phones and I believe there is an invisible girlfriend one as well.

https://invisibleboyfriend.com/

The messages appear in your inbox as a valid message from someone and look as such:

It looks real doesn’t it? This will keep all your friends and family off your back for a day!

I don’t have the app simply because I don’t need it. Does that mean I have a boyfriend? If you know me, then you know the answer to that. 🙂

The app is quite interesting but aside from impressing the world, what else is there to do?

How many people are going to see 50 shades of Grey this weekend?

Come on where’s the show of hands? 😀

It’s a movie I am on the fence about because I LOVE the books and while I am excited they made it into a movie (I’m going to go see it eventually); I am not excited about the actor & actress chosen to play Anastasia and Christian.

However, Go spend V-Day with your GIRLFRIENDS and at night dedicate it to your boyfriend or husband. As for my singles, nothing wrong with spending time with yourself or go speed dating (if you’re that adventurous).

I specifically titled this “Renovate Your Valentine’s Day” because you should feel good about doing something for yourself for once as well as a new take on the “holiday”. The movies and the boyfriend app are typical things to do during this special event, but don’t forget to love yourself first! 

The chocolate, flowers, dinner thing is sooooo old! Leave it in the past! Do something different. Hint at something new ladies. Whether it’s the favorite pair of shoes you have on your wishlist or just going to a craft store to make each other something, do it! Valentine’s Day isn’t all about SPENDING MONEY and if you DO spend money, spend it wisely.

After all, it is ONE day and it should be treated as a regular day because you love people every day even if you don’t say it and even if you don’t necessarily show it everyday. If you buy a gift, make it worth it and not just because it is that one day out of the year where all the commercials, family, friends, co-workers, and sales push you to buy everything to make her happy.

Ladies the men deserve some love too! Cooking is cool as well as expected, but what about his favorite tickets to a show or a game?

Love works both ways.

Love has no boundaries even if your V-Date is your mom, dad, cousin, brother or sister. Just make it fun.

Remember single ladies and single men, there are plenty activities you can do to enjoy V-Day. As I mentioned earlier there’s dating, or you can work (if you grind all the time), play video games, watch Netflix, or spend family time in the house with the ones you love on the daily.

Even bake those sugar cookies everyone loves so much!

What am I doing for Valentine’s Day you ask? Spending it with the people I love the most! My “adopted into” family! 🙂

Turn the typical expected Valentine’s Day into something brand new. Then tell me what you did! Haha

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Here’s some V-DAY humor: