Tag Archive | College

Shade is a Mom!

Sorry for the disappearance since March. I was pregnant and hormonal and going through ups and downs with my bf…

I had a high risk pregnancy until about 30 weeks and let me say that I worried about everythaaannngggg!!

When I didn’t feel the same movements from baby as usual I went to the hospital a week before my scheduled c-section. He was fine and I was actually contracting without knowing or feeling it!

Now I may or may not have mentioned it, but I had a daughter born 22 weeks Sept 4th 2017 and she passed Sept 11th 2017….emergency c section.

I had major baby fever after and wanted a baby to hold so I wanted to try again and that I did!

My handsome baby boy was born June 21st at 4:33pm. So precious ❤ (Pics maybe laterrr)

He is 4 months now and a mommy’s boy!!! I LOOOVVVEEEE IT!!! It’s part from breastfeeding, part from holding him all the time which is why he is all up on mommy! Hehe

The best times are the snuggles! We started with tummy cuddles and now we co-sleep. I missed placing him on my tummy and falling asleep like that at 1st but now co-sleeping is easier!

Dad works and hardly participated but it wasn’t until recently that I make him little by little by going to the store and getting my hair done. BUT he works so I accept it as Im not working right now.

Dad has finally bonded and now our son loves him and cries for him sometimes (but loves me more)

Our relationship has gotten better. We don’t argue, we are understanding each other. I didn’t have much of a sex drive at 1st. I was allll baby & I’m sure my mothers out there can relate. Now it is creepin back slowly and YES I’M ON BIRTH CONTROL! Noneed for another too soon and I like having my body back (just not the boobs, those are his) Everything is falling into place. Maybe it’s the baby 😁.

His name is Junior *nickname* (He’s named after his father)

I am also taking 1 online class at a time at Southern New Hampshire University!! Master’s in English Creative Writing! (I’ll discuss in New Post)

I miss my bloggers soooo much! I’ll try to be more active now that I have energy :P.

Talk to me!

Catch Shade any time of the day! Shade is on Facebook! https://facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

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© 2018 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of all material without expressed and written permission from Shade But No Shade and its author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Shade But No Shade with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Hey Baby! What’s Your Sign??

Since I just posted about seeing the moon, why not post this post about ….

Horoscopes! 

horoscopes.jpg

I used to be a HUGE fan of horoscopes! Everything you needed to know, you could have asked me…..

I was like….. a horoscope guru haha

Keyword: Was

Now I kind of just live life normal hehe

I still believe in some parts like characteristics are true per each sign, but I don’t follow it like I used to

I had Yahoo horoscope sent to me all the time and I checked love, friendship and finance all the time

For a while I had the horoscope app on my phone.

I told you I was serious about it!

Don’t judge me!

Besides,

I KNOOOOWWWW I’m not the only one!  Continue reading

That Time I…..

Saw the moon way too close!

I was in Wal-Mart in Iowa about 4 yrs ago wit my ex and when we came out….

BAM! 

Immediately frightened!!

The MOON was Waaayyyyy too huge for me to feel protected.

I thought the world was over.

I am sure I even checked fb and google to be sure….

Why was the MOON so damn big!!???

I’ve never seen it soooooo close to where it felt like I could touch it.

OMG!

bugeyes.gif

I closed my eyes and then opened them slowly, trying to appreciate the beauty.  Continue reading

Creative Writing Feature: 3 Word Short Story!

(All I thought as I reread this was WHAT WAS I THINKING!! THAT COULD HAVE FLOWED BETTER!!!) (Also it is a lil creepy that I am 27 posting this story, character is 27…I was having a girl and so is the character! Only positive is I am still with my bae, we broke up a few times but that was prior to baby…..

And now as I reread this story I have lost my little girl, but you guys can read that post.) 

This post was written in my Write Like A Woman class at ISU. It was so hard to write a 3 word sentence! 

 

(Written: 12/1/13) 

           Sex too good. Don’t use protection. Bought First Response. Have to pee. Pee on stick. Oh no Pregnant! Damn I’m stupid. How could I? It’s his fault. He manipulates me. Says sweet things. Oh you’re sexy. Come join me. Bed too cold. I need you. I can’t resist. Under the covers. His hands smooth. Hot, lustful intentions. Damn….not again! Someone is knocking. Ugh read…sign. Do NOT disturb. We are busy. Come back later. I keep screaming. Oh….Guilty pleasures. He screams Becca! What the fuck? I am Stephanie.

Who is she? I push him. He rolls off. I get up. Shit, really Matt? You damn cheater! I’ve had enough. I’m getting dressed. Red dress on. Slips on heels. He smacks me. I kick him. He punches me. Ouch that hurts! Arm turns purple. I bite him. Scratch his throat. Then I run. He trips me. Kneel…shoe…off. I’ve got aim. Hit his head. He is raging. Walks toward me. He’s standing there. I’m crying again. Very mixed emotions. He starts crying. This doesn’t work. I’ve gotta go. The knocking stopped. It was her. It must be. Where’d she go? Purse in hand. He is shouting. Baby don’t go. She means nothing. Same old story. Write a book. I’m so done.

            Walking home alone. Fuming with thoughts. Emotions running wild. Tears falling nonstop. Grown adults fighting. Who does that?  I hate him. I’m freaking 27. Baby on board. I’ll raise him. Or maybe her. Hopefully not both. I’m against abortion. Time heals all. Don’t have time. I’m so confused. What’d I do? Thought we’d last. Guess imma fool. He played me. Really Becca though? She sounds familiar. Ohmygod. Please God no. Don’t tell me. Becca from school. In my class. That conniving bitch. She’s so fake.  He’s all hers. I’m so done. I’m moving on. Dead beat father.

Continue reading

Creative Writing Feature: Short Story!

“Hurry up Haylee! I need to get you to school by 7!” She heads downstairs to make her and Haylee a bowl of cereal. She leaves the milk out for Haylee to put in her cereal herself. We are running low on Frosted Flakes thanks to Haylee eating it all. As she sits at the table alone, thoughts start to flush into her mind. Michael. She is her only daughter and her only child.

Haylee is a smart, good girl, reflecting the ways of  when she was a little girl. Mrs. Anderson rushes to the bathroom as she can no longer hold back her tears. She glances in the mirror, only to see the dark circles around her eyes from lack of sleep. She has been staying up all night, trying to plan today’s activity for her children.

I just want my kids to like me. Tears escape her as she tries to hold it in. Haylee will be done soon, she thinks as she hears the water upstairs cut off.  washes her face and attempts a smile for herself. Smile for Haylee.  

“Mom! Where are you? I’m all showered and ready to go” Haylee runs down the steps.

“I’m right here baby” Katie walks to back to the table. “Come on and eat.”

“Hey Mom, are you okay?” Haylee frowns as she pours the milk into her bowl.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about, Love,” Katie smiles.

As Haylee eats her cereal, Katie remembers the first time her kids at school called her Mrs. Anderson. She prefers the name Katie, but the kids say her last name is cooler. It reminds them of the comedian, Anthony Anderson. That was also her ex-husband’s last name. To this day, Haylee doesn’t know the truth. Mrs. Anderson feels it is best to just keep telling her daughter “we are living in two different worlds right now babe.”

While thoughts of her and Michael file into her mind, her kids at school and Haylee are her only distractions….

“Mom! Are you sure you’re okay? It’s 6:45 and I will be late if we don’t get in the car now like we always do” Haylee has her book bag, lunch bag and herself waiting by the door. Shit.

Katie was daydreaming and almost forgot that her day was just ahead of her. She rushes around the house searching for her items for the day. Lesson Planner, Composition notebooks, pencils, salad, cell phone, car keys, candy, and stress balls. There is one more thing Mrs. Anderson can’t live without so early in the morning. That is her Starbucks Natural Fusion Caramel Ground Coffee. She gets a pot going as she fixes Haylee’s hair. She has long beautiful brunette thick texture from her father’s side.  brushes it into a ponytail with a bang curling on the right side. Perfect! She looks at her own hair in the stainless steel sink while she is about to wash the dishes from cereal and last night’s dinner. Her hair is wavy today; she decided to try something new. One day, she will like to dye her hair. She grabs the travel mug out of the cabinet and pours the coffee in it with 4 sugars and extra caramel syrup.

 “Haylee, let’s get in the car sweetie” she says as she cuts off all the lights in the house.

Katie’s phone rings, but the call goes to voicemail. She glances over to read the caller id. Michael. She looks at the notifications and realizes she missed two calls from him. She presses her Bluetooth button on her steering wheel and proceeds to call him back.

“Good Morning Michael. You’re calling early”

“Yes. Good Morning to you too Katie. How’s my girl doing?”

Katie can’t tell if he’s asking about her or Haylee. She just knows it can’t be her. She concludes that he means Haylee. “Haylee is doing well. I’m taking her to school now. You’re interrupting her One Direction song by the way.”

Laughter shoots through the phone. “Sorry Haylee. Come say hi to Daddy!”

Haylee’s eyes light up. Mrs. Anderson smirks. “Hi Daddy! How are you?”

“I’m good babygirl. How are you?”

“Doing great! Even better if you let me listen to One Direction before I get to school.”

“Let me finish talking to Mommy and I promise you will.”

“Ok I Love You”

“Love you too babygirl.”

Mrs. Anderson is minutes away from approaching the school.

“Michael. I know there is a reason for your call. What’s the status?”

“Damn rushing me off! I see how it is.” He laughs.

Michael never takes things seriously. At least when it comes to Katie’s attitude.

“Damn ! Can’t a brother get some love? I’m doing fine thank you for asking.”

“That’s good to hear. Now cut to the chase.”

“I’m calling to confirm if it’s okay that Haylee comes with me this weekend? I want some father daughter time. I miss you….and I miss Haylee too.”

Katie is taken aback. “Well…uuhh….sure you can. Come pick her up Friday night. After I take her to see Monster’s Inc. I’ve been meaning to do that all week.”

“Okay I will. Do you mind if I join you two? You know I love me some kid movies.” This is true. Katie heart skips a beat. He knows how to sucker up to her.   

“Michael! You know-”

Haylee chimes in before she can finish her sentence. “Yeeessssss you can!”

“Alright it’s a date. I mean see you guys Friday. , I can’t wait to see you too you know?”

Katie closes her eyes. Count to ten. Inhale. Exhale. “Ohh Michael. How you do this to me.”  Michael sighs.

 “Mike, I will see you Friday. I have to go.”

“Okay. Love you guys.”

“We love you too.” They say in unison.

 “Haylee baby, have a good day at school today okay? Mommy will see you later smart girl!” She gives her a big hug and a kiss.

“Okay. I love you mommy! Have a good day too. Bye!” She kisses Katie and hugs her quickly before rushing off to her friend. Katie watches Haylee for a minute then runs to her car. She drives down to the Boys and Girls High School, remembering the conversation with Michael, and Haylee’s perfect smile every time she hears her dad’s voice.

Katie finds her parking spot and turns the car off. She enters the building in a new light. There’s some hope that the love she thought would never exist, can still have a candle lit. As her heels click down the hallway, she feels more confident than ever before. She has two people who love her unconditionally and that is all she needs. She approaches her class and everyone is seated, and in deep conversations.

“Hello class! How’s everyone doing today? I will take attendance and you will come up and grab a composition notebook and a #2 pencil. Today is free writing day in your journals. Tell me how you feel today and you know what?” She smiles toward the entire class.

Hands are raised frantically in excitement. She chooses a girl who is always so quiet in class. She seems rather familiar. Then it hits her. “Yes Charlene?”

“There’s candy for writing and participating? I can see it sticking out your purse.” She nods her head toward the bag.

“Yes. For each question I ask you today, there will be candy going around. This activity will continue onto tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a little bit different. I want you guys to start being interactive. This is an English class. We’re here to turn things around. Just think of me as Hilary Swank in Freedom Writers.”

Mrs. Anderson takes a seat. The class is boasting in laughter. “Sarah Baker. James Barnes. Christine Davis. Charlene Rose….” As she is calling attendance, she hands the journals and pencils out as promised. She takes one for herself.

“Class. I will be joining you in this activity. There are things I will like for you to know about me too. This can be our self reflections to becoming better students and for me, a better person and teacher.”

Mrs. Anderson’s day is only half complete.

 

 

 

Catch Shade Anytime of the day! Shade is on Facebook! https://facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

© 2017 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of all material without expressed and written permission from Shade But No Shade and its author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Shade But No Shade with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creative Writing Feature: Poem!

Creative Writing Feature! 

I had to reinvent one of the hardest poems of my life! I am normally a poet, so you would think it would come easy. In order to ace this extra curriculum needed to graduate, I had to do it. First I will post Franz Wright original poem called “One Heart” and then below I will post my own. I really like how it turned out :). Let me know your thoughts!

Franz Wright Poem “One Heart” 

It is late afternoon and I have just returned from

the longer version of my walk nobody knows

about. For the first time in nearly a month, and

everything changed. It is the end of March, once

more I have lived. This morning a young woman

described what it’s like shooting coke with a baby

in your arms. The astonishing windy and altering light

and clouds and water were, at certain moment,

You.

There is only one heart in my body, have mercy

on me.

The brown leaves buried all winter creatureless feet

running over dead grass beginning to green, the first scent-

less violet here and there, returned, the first star noticed all

at once as one stands staring into the black water.

Thank You for letting me live for a little as one of the

sane; thank You for letting me know what this is

like. Thank You for letting me look at your frightening

blue sky without fear, and your terrible world without

terror, and your loveless psychotic and hopelessly

lost

with this love.

*******************************************************************

My Poem

It is almost midnight and I just had a real epiphany

Continue reading

This Class is Sooo…..

Ever been in the classroom and couldn’t wait for the bell?!

Yes I have been  that way all the time….

Especially during Math class!

My face would be like

snoozin

that was my high school days

I couldn’t wait to spend a quick 3 mins to 5 mins in the hallway with my friends chatting and gossiping about everything!

Of course I looked forward to English class!

I was in class like

yeahhhh

I also liked gym class and lunch…

those were too easy!!  Continue reading