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Keep Your Hands Down and Step Away From My Hair!

I feel like my own hair police most times. Growing up, it’s all people wanted to do!

Just the thought of a person’s hands in another person’s hair for a long period of time is unappealing. Someone’s gruesome, dirty, unsanitized hands to want to touch your fresh, flat ironed, or curly hair! They just ate and touched a glass and immediately want to touch. Ew! At least wash ya hands first.

If you just realized your friends has done that then I’m sorry! A person’s hands that dirty has never been in my hair, I just have a vivid imagination!

It doesn’t matter if your hair is natural, has weave or tracks; long or short the issue stands for everyone.

Touching my hair also came with the “is it real? or is it yours?” question. The answer is YES! It’s not THAT hard to tell the difference, let alone FEEL the difference! Especially coming from women. SMH

The worst is when they don’t ask and they just do. Ummmm….NO! No way. Pump ya brakes. How would you feel if someone did that to you?

Ever met someone that loves touching hair, but hates theirs being touched? Yeah, I haven’t either. But I’m sure they are out there.

This has happened to me ever since I was about 7 years old:

Ugh! Isn’t the point of a question to wait for an answer? It literally “grinds my gears” as Peter from Family Guy would say. Lol!

My hair is a good length, given the fact that I am mixed. I have also been taking care of it since I stopped getting perms in the 6th grade. I did it all by myself. Yay me! Haha.

I usually get asked “How did you get your hair so long?” Only to assess the situation and find the right way to tell my process to whom is asking.

I usually have a hard time taking compliments because I am not a shallow or egotistical person, but I believe sometimes it is a positive initiative when asked about one’s hair. I don’t mind if a great friend of mine wants to touch my hair (as long as their hands are clean!)

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“My Block” – A Movie with a Powerful Enlightenment

Today I bring to you a movie based on gentrification which affects small businesses and neighborhoods today especially in NY. It’s a serious issue and somebody somewhere has got to take action. Before I get into specifics, let me introduce you to the definition and the man who created a movie I believe will open the eyes of many.

Gentrification is “the process of renewal and rebuilding accompanying the influx of middle-class or affluent people into deteriorating areas that often displaces poorer residents” – Merriam-Webster definition.  

Taquan Pugh, 24 and a Brooklyn native; is a man in control of his own work with high goals to inspire the world with his message. He is the true meaning of a young, innovative, upcoming entrepreneur that is multi-talented.

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I had the pleasure of having a quick Q & A with him. Check it out:

1.  What inspired you to write such a great script?

“Gentrification is very prevalent in major cities across the country especially in my hometown of New York City. While I was in college every time I came home during breaks I was seeing how much neighborhoods were changing and how heavily it was affecting the natives of the city such as myself. So I wanted to write a script that spoke for us.” 

2. How did you find casting? Are they all your friends?

“I worked with a casting director and utilized the network of some of the actors and actresses who were already cast in the film. Also some of the actors are my friends who I went to school with.” 

3. Do you see yourself making black history for the big films?

“History has always been a very important thing to me. It is the foundation of any group of people. Therefore history will always be taught in my films.” 

4. Will there be humor films in the future of your work?

“Laughter eases the soul so humor will play a big part in all of my productions. ‘My Block’ actually has some humor in it. When the full film is released you will be able to see the humor.” 

5. Is your goal to be writer, director and actor?

“I plan to do writing, directing, and acting throughout my career. I also plan on attempting to compose music for my films in the future.” 

6.  Who are the top 5 idols that inspires your writing?

“Spike Lee, Martin Lawrence, John Singleton, Tupac, and Sam Cooke.” 

7. Have you thought of doing a mini series? 

“If some decent proposals come along then I would definitely consider a mini series. Gentrification is a very complex issue that ‘My Block’ can’t even cover in its entirely.”

8. You have an internship now, will it help improve your skills/knowledge? 

“I cant speak on the internship as of yet lol.” 

You can see for yourself all of Taquan’s creative talent in the trailer here:

Let me just say that I agree with him. Gentrification affects everyone in the community. It is best to speak now, while we still can. He has some wonderful icon choices and I am sure we will see the influence throughout his work.

I wish Taquan the best of luck with his success for the movie. I believe this internship can and will lead to bigger productions. I know he didn’t want to jinx anything, but my fingers are crossed. We all will be waiting for the premiere of “My Block” and future endeavors.

Taquan can be contacted via Facebook: Taquan Pugh; Twitter & IG: @film_prophet

Good luck!

Sorry!….Wait No I’m Not!!

No. Really. I’m not. Sometimes I get sick of apologizing. 😛 I did nothing wrong half the time! But I won’t apologize for this post!

As humans, we always have the tendency to say sorry. We apologize for just about everything.

“Sorry”….I stepped on your toe; didn’t hold the door open; I didn’t ask you about your day; I bumped into you, etc….

I feel like women are always the ones who are sorry the most. We let our guards down and don’t like to have the guilty feeling anymore sooooo we say “I’m Sorry.”

As women we should only use the word when we really feel bad and actually mean it. Don’t be like the Mean Girls!

It’s especially worst in relationships. If you’re anything like me, you hate being mad at your spouse. Neither one of you can go to bed mad. So as the loving woman you are, you apologize so that you two can sleep peacefully.

Then there are some PEOPLE I will say, that don’t apologize enough. Why is it so hard to just say sorry. No ego is crashed in that sense! You were wrong, they were right. It’s 5 letters, and there shouldn’t be a problem saying it after all the words you did say.

I know some men where it’s not even in their vocabulary. They are always right, not matter what. I don’t get it. Maybe it’s their egos.I don’t know! Those who only say sorry just to get the woman to shut up-> You are rude!

There is also the “I’m sorry I cheated” and “sorry I lied” lines too. These go hand in hand sometimes. The worst is “I’m sorry I hurt you” and hearing it over and over again. Whether it’s from the same man/woman, that is the most annoying line ever!

Can you really apologize for something you are obviously aware of the outcome? Yes! But if I can tell you are not real with me then….

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Don’t Judge Me!!……I’m Only Human…

Why do you look at me that way? Is it something I said?

NO.

It’s society. It throws everything at everybody and expects the most viral expectations.

I’m talking about LOOKS.

The what you looking at “looks”

The she got the job because she’s hot “looks”

The he got a nose job because he thought the original was ugly “looks”

Anything that’s possible that makes you wonder is it because of how you LOOK!

A person too shallow loves to focus on “looks” #NoShade

Celebrities make you want to stop eating greasy food and start a healthy regime because they display their bodies as if it were a masterpiece. You head to the gym with the goal to look like Amber Rose or Tyra Banks.

It dates so far back that it could have started anywhere. As our generation develops, I would like to think it started as kids.

Some of us have been bullied (I am one of them, happened like 2 times) and it occurs because a person is nerdy or too quiet. To say one is “nerdy” is to base it off of the way they dress differently from you or they wear glasses.

#NoBullying guys and girls.

Society shows us that if you are not sexy, hot, pretty, etc then you can’t make it in the world.

Kuddos to the successful people out there changing the world like Chantelle Brown-Young aka Winnie Harlow. She is currently a model, mentor and more under Desigual designer label. Continue reading

Secret Admirers: When do they become Stalkers?

Did anyone have a Valentine’s Day admirer? Someone you can guess for sure it is them? Did they leave gifts at your job or home? Was it cute/sweet or weird/creepy?

Does it occur every year? What changes?

Aside from V-Day, Do you have one everyday? Or do you do all the hard work?

All these questions are valid for this post! Lol 😀

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had secret admirers in school. Especially elementary school. Those valentine’s day cards always mean something when someone writes a little bit more than the standard greeting. That’s how you know who your secret admirer is. But what happens when it’s not exactly that way?

As you get older, the harder it is to pin point who is sending you flowers on Valentine’s Day, your Birthday, Christmas, Etc. At a college or a university there are so many options that it could be anyone. Unless it’s the girl or guy you had your eye on in class.

Secret Admirers used to be romanticized and a good thing. If a man had one, he would send flowers with a card that had sweet nothings on it. Or he would find what she valued the most and send it. These days, it can be a little weird. Love has gone from in person to online.

In today’s society, it is type stalker-ish! If your number is public like your Facebook profile, anyone can text you.

Or that one guy you met on a dating site now has your number and he turns out not to be so romantic, but you thought he was your secret admirer.

That girl you claimed wasn’t crazy, she actually is! And she follows your every move aside from Instagram. Yikes!

I prefer 90s way of showing affection, compared to 00s. I miss the hand written notes to that someone you found attractive PERSONALITY wise and not sexually. But things have since then changed.

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Everyone Facebook messages and uses dating sites to meet people and talk to those they have interest in. Some people hide behind social media and refuse to be brave and show that one guy or girl they are into them. Most people wait until it’s too late.

What is the limit for being a Stalker after getting too close to the person you secretly admirer?

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There are many ways to get creative to send your secret admirer gifts. There are e-cards, pen and paper, GIFS, phone calls, text messages, emails, pictures, hell even SNAPCHAT these days! Continue reading

Renovate Your Valentine’s Day!!

Let’s cut right into it. You dread this day. It’s like any other ordinary day. Right? This day is overrated and very dramatized to the point where if you don’t have a Valentine your friends question your life.

You’re sick of hearing “Who’s your valentine this year?” If you have none.

But that’s okay, I hope you downloaded the new Imaginary Boyfriend app to play pretend for just a day.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Check out the link! It’s available on all phones and I believe there is an invisible girlfriend one as well.

https://invisibleboyfriend.com/

The messages appear in your inbox as a valid message from someone and look as such:

invisible-bf-appIt looks real doesn’t it? This will keep all your friends and family off your back for a day!

I don’t have the app simply because I don’t need it. Does that mean I have a boyfriend? If you know me, then you know the answer to that. 🙂

The app is quite interesting but aside from impressing the world, what else is there to do?

How many people are going to see 50 shades of Grey this weekend?

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Come on where’s the show of hands? 😀

It’s a movie I am on the fence about because I LOVE the books and while I am excited they made it into a movie (I’m going to go see it eventually); I am not excited about the actor & actress chosen to play Anastasia and Christian.

However, Go spend V-Day with your GIRLFRIENDS and at night dedicate it to your boyfriend or husband. As for my singles, nothing wrong with spending time with yourself or go speed dating (if you’re that adventurous).

I specifically titled this “Renovate Your Valentine’s Day” because you should feel good about doing something for yourself for once as well as a new take on the “holiday”. The movies and the boyfriend app are typical things to do during this special event, but don’t forget to love yourself first! 

The chocolate, flowers, dinner thing is sooooo old! Leave it in the past! Do something different. Hint at something new ladies. Whether it’s the favorite pair of shoes you have on your wishlist or just going to a craft store to make each other something, do it! Valentine’s Day isn’t all about SPENDING MONEY and if you DO spend money, spend it wisely.

After all, it is ONE day and it should be treated as a regular day because you love people every day even if you don’t say it and even if you don’t necessarily show it everyday. If you buy a gift, make it worth it and not just because it is that one day out of the year where all the commercials, family, friends, co-workers, and sales push you to buy everything to make her happy.

Ladies the men deserve some love too! Cooking is cool as well as expected, but what about his favorite tickets to a show or a game?

Love works both ways.

Love has no boundaries even if your V-Date is your mom, dad, cousin, brother or sister. Just make it fun.

Remember single ladies and single men, there are plenty activities you can do to enjoy V-Day. As I mentioned earlier there’s dating, or you can work (if you grind all the time), play video games, watch Netflix, or spend family time in the house with the ones you love on the daily.

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Even bake those sugar cookies everyone loves so much!

What am I doing for Valentine’s Day you ask? Spending it with the people I love the most! My “adopted into” family! 🙂

Turn the typical expected Valentine’s Day into something brand new. Then tell me what you did! Haha

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Here’s some V-DAY humor:

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What do you do when Writer’s Block is a pain??

You deal with it! That’s what! Take some time away from it, and come back to it or sit and ponder until the thoughts flow.

It’s a very stressful moment….

Writer’s block seems so nerve wrecking and frustrating. I’ve always dealt with it in school and just put the pen/pencil down as if I could be creative again later on in the day. I used to take a break and read a novel in hopes that when it came to that High School essay, I was prepared to defeat it with no problem.

But High School is different from college…..

Especially a University with more than one assignment due at the same damn time!

On a daily basis I was going insaneeee over assignments! The essays + creative assignments just threw me for a loop! I couldn’t deal! I know, you’re probably like whateverrrr but try 3 essays and 2 creative writing assignments due back to back, or day after day one class period after the next.

It’s your junior year of college and you have soooo much on your mind! Catch my drift? It’s a heavy load that you have to tackle one font letter at a time.

There was nothing worse than having that good ol writer’s block for an assignment and it’s due the next day!! :O Those type of assignments had me livid and I was drinking coffee as if it was water!

If you are an aspiring author like me, you can really understand what it is like to understand your next role for a character but not have a clue as to where to start! It’s your story and you still draw blanks! You’re just like “OMG why?” The logic is beyond me.

Writer’s block feels like a hugeee blank is drawn in your head and you can’t grasp why it even exists! It occurs at any given moment and all you can do is just try to recover. I don’t know about you, but it definitely gives me a headache all the time.

Could it be the fact that I’ve been writing since I was about 10 years old? 😉 I don’t know, I’m not a scientist so if you know anyone, send them my way for the answer!

Almost any student has experienced it. Have you stayed up several times and wondered why you have writer’s block so much? Is it because you’re exhausted and need more sleep? Or are you just burnt out from all the homework?

Yeah I’ve done that a lot! My major required nothing but writing and yet and sometimes I couldn’t write a thing.

You have edited that essay one time too many and you are done! That creative story just won’t work out the way you thought in your head and that professor had to be the douche to correct it? Lol

Whatever it is, it is almost as close as getting a headache….except there is no pain. But you have experienced it your whole life on many many MANY random occasions and you just want it gone!

I wish I had the solution because then I could share it with you, buuuttt I don’t!

To think I want to go back to school for my master’s too. I am NOT ready for the writer’s block cycle to happen all over again. However, I love to write and I would prefer the essays over exams any day!

I just thought I’d point out how annoying writer’s block can be….I mean why does it happen to every student? Is there something going on with our brains? Geez! Haha

Perhaps we should eat ice cream! Nothing cures the stress from writer’s block better!

 

What Is Going On With These Dating Sites?!!!

So I know I recently mentioned the double standard of the usage for dating sites. This time is different. I have experienced something I think you’ll get a kick out of.

I recently joined OK Cupid to prove a point to a friend. On OK Cupid, the more questions you answer, the better matches you will get. If you hardly answer any, does that mean you won’t find your perfect match? It’s a strange thing to consider, but true nonetheless. I don’t have time to play guessing games with a website! One tip, I neverrrrr give out my real name on the site! It’s not something I do. For what? So you can creep on me? You good!

It’s one of those situations where they don’t see what you mean until you show them what you mean.

So it’s no doubt that I am attractive. NO I’m not conceited, I just learned to appreciate that I am pretty to some degree.

I’m a Girl, I’m a Woman, so yes I have insecurities too! It took A LONG time to tell myself that I am pretty but back to this….. 😛

I came across some negative inbox messages that I just rolled my eyes to and didn’t respond to. To others, I also laughed depending on what was being said.

Now don’t get me wrong, before I shut this down with the negativity of the site, there were some nice guys on there that have messaged me respectfully, I just don’t respond to all of them.

It amazes me how there are all these men on the site and not one thinks to be a gentlemen to get the woman they want in their life or even the casual sex! Sometimes it’s best to be NICE and HONEST at the same time!

When you come off too ignorant or too rude, a woman doesn’t want to respond to that. Men, you must have some male figures in your life that can educate you on the thoughts of women! OR Watch Guy Code every Weds at 11:30PM! 😀

I don’t know about all women, as I can only speak for myself and the female friends I do have, but I know that if you come off as a prude when you greeting a woman, chances are you WILL NOT get what you expect.

To interest you in a few of the ridiculous messages I’ve received, I’ll share the top 4 because everyone else was blocked. These are my most recent posts.

Oh yeah, I only had the site up for ONE week now.

Example #1: This came in last week….

CYMERA_20150206_160849 I read this message like Dude Gross! Do something with yourself! He cannot and will not EVER have me! What was his thought process when he sent this message? I don’t get it. He was blocked instantly, without hesitation. I just can’t!

Example #2: This was just this past Thurs!

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This one just made my skin crawl for many reasons. What possessed this dude to assume that I would go with him on a private jet like I know him????? This opener for women is NOT the wave homeboy! I just shook my head at his one because it was very aggravating to see this. I know I look 15, but I’m not and I don’t act like it! Continue reading

Double Standards…Why do we have them?

We’ve all experienced it, at any age. It’s frustrating and annoying.

You find yourself having this battle with just about anyone of the opposite sex.

A man does it with a woman and a woman does it with a man.

No matter what is being said a man feels like he is always right…..maybe a man coined the term double standard too? Since they like living it so much!

Lol seriously though. I can’t even begin to tell you the many times I’ve been in arguments such as

Man: She slept with the homie, she’s a hoe, slut, thot, etc

Me: And guys do it too! They are thots and sluts too.

Man: Chill that’s not the same thing. We don’t get called those names…or we do it different

……I could continue but you get the point. Men don’t get called the names they created for women because they want to be dominant but GUYS LISTEN UP! You are those names too if you proceed with the same actions. #JustSaying

I DON’T understand how most people can be one sided on certain situations. If it hurts you to be called a name, then don’t call anyone else it! Simple!

Double Standards come in many shapes, styles and forms.

In relationships, there should be no need because the two of you become one. However, it cannot be stopped unless society stops it altogether so it continues! It shouldn’t happen at all!

Here’s a tip!

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For example, SEX numbers…lalala everyone’s favorite discussion. It is debated on social media, on TV shows like Guy Code, amongst friends, etc

In relationships only you two can decide whether or not you care about how many people the other slept with! It’s your boyfriend/girlfriend. Don’t try to add numbers by 2 or 12 because not every woman lies like that and neither does guys.

Does it really matter? You sleep with them anyway!

Next……Dating sites.

If you create one and you’re single, then cool.

If you create one and you’re working things out with someone or you are considering it, well then how do you think you look? How can he/she take you seriously when you are doing the opposite!

Then he/she gets an online dating site too and you catch a ‘tude about it?

Bye2

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“Dear White People” Movie Review

I know it’s 2015 and the movie came out in 2014. I’m late and? Lol But After FINALLY watching it, I thought I’d pick the crazy things I spotted out for the world to notice.

I thought “Dear White People” was going to send a valuable message. Instead, it shows racism at it’s best! If you haven’t seen it, I advise that you watch it. Or even skip through it because it was a struggle to watch it all as it was very slow!

It almost put me to sleep! Seriously! Had me with one eye open like…..

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The part that intrigued me the most was the university party. It makes me wonder how the world really acts. Trying to fit in is one thing, but to attempt to be like another race is something no one would like if it happened to them.

Don’t you agree?

The party “[was] a minstrel-like black party for WHITE students. Guests are encouraged to arrive in blackface, fried chicken and “purple drank” in hand, to wallow unabashedly in every abhorrent stereotype.” -via National Post.

In an article called Amherst Student it also says, “This culture war culminates in an “Unleash Your Inner Negro” party thrown by the nearly all-white members of Winchester’s comedy magazine, Pastiche. White students show up to the event in blackface, wielding gold guns and grills, wearing Barack and Michelle Obama masks and flashing gang signs.”

I could not have said it better myself.

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