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The Thirst is Real!!

So let me tell y’all….

I’ve experienced my fair share of women testing my patience when it comes to my relationship.

There was one scenario about 3 months ago that I had to hold everything within me to stay mature!

Remember how I told y’a’ll that I am not ratchet? So yeah I had to keep that up for the moment and assess the situation before I became a different person….

Anyways let me rant to you!

My babe and I went to Friday’s as we always do before seeing a movie at the theater across the street from it.

He went to get the movie tickets so I made his order for him.

I told this heffa of a waitress his order and told her THAT IS IT! Of course with my order.

She felt the need to come back when he returned and asked him if he wanted anything else…..

Okay I let that slide… that wasn’t the part that made me wanna snatch her ugly ass wig!

This next thing I am about to tell you is what made me want to go all Love and Hip hop on that ass!  Continue reading

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You Right There! STOP Slackin’ Off!

U ever work with somebody that makes u wanna quit?

I have a few times!!! Let me tell ya

*Disclaimer* As you can see, I am FED UP with my co-workers, this is why I am venting about them in a few separate posts because they are different topics and deserve to stay separated! 

So as seen in my previous post, you know my job title, but let me give you the hours more clearly…

7Am to 3pm

3pm to 11pm

11pm to 7Am

Okay soooo…. 

I have this one co-worker on my 3p-11p shift whom was used to the overnight shift and couldn’t adjust to the busy 3p to 11p shift. Her first week she was not doing her job properly. For example, we are entitled to open client doors as requested each day and she didn’t want to open doors. Each worker usually takes turns doing so, but this breed just didn’t want to do it. 

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That Time I met the #1 Comedian In the World: Kevin Hart!! 

I watch all of his movies, see all of his comedy skits, follow him on Snapchat & Facebook….

Watch him Live all the time! 

Kevin Hart is a comedic in his own right and he does it effortlessly!

Okay I am not about to OD, but man I adore him!

Kevin Hart ❤ ❤ ❤ 

Chocolate Droppa! 

I GOT A PICTURE WITH CHOCOLATE DROPPA-KEVIN HART!!!!!

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Creative Writing Feature: Alternate Story Greeting Card Story

SEE FIRST VERSION OF THIS POST HERE: Creative Writing Feature!

*I made NO edits, this is how I wrote it in the class*

* This was also the original story, before the 1st one I posted. The class hated this one, but I liked my concept….although now I prefer the one I tagged above :D*

I really dislike going to work. It drives me nuts. I am not the standard pharmacist that just has a miserable time at work. I enjoy making the customers laugh, although they look at me like something is wrong.

Is it my uniform?

I stand at the register and wonder if this is true every time they turn away from me. I can’t help it, I’m eccentric.  At times when I am on the floor, I receive blank stares for what feels like longer than five minutes. As an observer, I am also really good at figuring out who is analyzing my horrendous outfit. I didn’t choose to wear these clothes; this is what I have to deal with since I started working at this dump.

The managers thought it would be a great idea for me to have on this bright red long sleeve shirt with random even and odd numbers displayed all over. I like to tell the joke of the day, “Do you know how many men it takes to screw in a light bulb?” I’ve been at this job for over thirty years, I deserve some humor every once in a while. Don’t you agree? Customers waiting for their prescriptions or refills look past me in deep thought or just roll their eyes.  They ignore me like I am a great big hole in the wall.

Do I scare them away with the perky expressions that follow my jokes? Someone once told me I remind them of the hip 70’s chic style with my big pink glasses and blue hair. My favorite fashion accessories are my earrings. Today I am wearing my light bulbs. Just as I was about to take my lunch, a handsome man appears.

He asks for his prescription for his grandma. I hand it to him, and as I am ringing him up, I am blissfully hypnotized and I don’t hear the joke slip out my mouth. He reads my name tag and says “Sally, why don’t you tell me that answer and I may take you to dinner.” I almost dropped the register as I answer, “Just one. He holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him…..”

“Wake up sweetie. It’s your 18th birthday!” Kathy says to her daughter.

“Aww. Do I have to?” says Kristal as she crawls out of bed.

“Here, take this card Kris. I bought it just for you,” her mother says. Kristal snatches the card.

“Ahhhhhh!” Kristal tosses the card and quickly escapes out of her room.

“Hmm…..what’s gotten into her?” Kathy says as she places the card on the dresser.

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© 2017 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of all material without expressed and written permission from Shade But No Shade and its author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Shade But No Shade with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Creative Writing Feature!

Welcome back!! 

Readers today I bring to you a creative story I wrote in college in my Write Like a Woman English 404 – class by my lovely advisor/ professor at Iowa State University. She was very inspiring and enlightening. She made us her friend while keeping it professional. 

I remember at the end of the semester she prepared a dinner at her house and we had to come in our pajamas so it became a little sleepover. Everyone discussed their favorite part of the class and bonded as classmates. It was fun, the part about Iowa I like the most is the true adventures within classes and outside classes 

But back to the facts….

It was a very inspiring class and I had so much fun reading all things woman, writing as a woman and being in a class full of women!

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The professor told us to choose a greeting card from a pile and create a story.

By the time the cards got to me there were many boring cards that this was the only one left that popped…

I looked at like what am I gonna make of this? 

Then trying to write a story?! Forget it. It was soooo complicated! 

I kept sitting there like 🤔🤔🤔

Then I came up with a dream concept…

From here, I’ll let you read and please PLEASE share your opinion, I know this story is silly. I wanted it to be fun and funny…..although the class couldn’t really get the joke 😝

****I have TWO edits to the story but I will post the final copy and think about posting the scrap! The scrap was more of a dream from the daughter and the official I made it feel more personalized and a connection to the character.*****

Let me know what you think! It was haaarrrdddd to write but I think I did a good job being OUT-OF-THE-BOX :).

STORY: 

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Oooh I Like It When You Touch Me There!

Ahh this touchy subject….literally…

The time you lost your virginity. When everything was confusing.

The feeling was amazing….

The feeling was painful….

When girls spiel “I love you” for no damn reason…

When guys can’t handle her spiel…

The awkwardness and wondering when it will stop being awkward….

When a girl runs and shares wit her homegirls all the details…

When a boy fronts and tells his boys half the truth about it…

That’s right ladies and gents this post is all about SEX!

Queue song!

 

Okay no seriously….I remember my first time. It was fun when I was in the moment, but looking back at it I wish I waited a little longer. Don’t you hate that? When you almost regret something because your mind wasn’t mature enough to make the right decision….

Yeah sooo sadly I grew up in a home where the birds and the bees was not discussed. My dad passed away when I was 3, so all I had was my mom. She has been in and out of relationships trying to figure out her own life that she couldn’t even teach me or my brother the ropes of sex. My brother might have learned from friends or my uncle(s), or maybe even figured it out on his own. I on the other hand had to ride solo….

I was unfortunately 14 years old when I lost my virginity. Yikes. Yeah I know. Silly me. But that is the type of freedom I had.  Continue reading

Pokemon No!

I am laying it on the table ladies and gents….

I am Sick of Pokemon Go. It isn’t the same as the cartridges for GameBoy. Who thought so? Raise a Hand.

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I used to play the game and have the same mantra as on the left. That part of the game always had me scared one was going to pop up. The picture on the right is everyone in 2016. My cousin was driving us around the city one day and she gets exactly like that.

To me it is just another distraction for the world. 

Forget about Trump attempting to become president because you have Pokemon Go.  Continue reading