Shade is a Mom!

Sorry for the disappearance since March. I was pregnant and hormonal and going through ups and downs with my bf…

I had a high risk pregnancy until about 30 weeks and let me say that I worried about everythaaannngggg!!

When I didn’t feel the same movements from baby as usual I went to the hospital a week before my scheduled c-section. He was fine and I was actually contracting without knowing or feeling it!

Now I may or may not have mentioned it, but I had a daughter born 22 weeks Sept 4th 2017 and she passed Sept 11th 2017….emergency c section.

I had major baby fever after and wanted a baby to hold so I wanted to try again and that I did!

My handsome baby boy was born June 21st at 4:33pm. So precious ❤ (Pics maybe laterrr)

He is 4 months now and a mommy’s boy!!! I LOOOVVVEEEE IT!!! It’s part from breastfeeding, part from holding him all the time which is why he is all up on mommy! Hehe

The best times are the snuggles! We started with tummy cuddles and now we co-sleep. I missed placing him on my tummy and falling asleep like that at 1st but now co-sleeping is easier!

Dad works and hardly participated but it wasn’t until recently that I make him little by little by going to the store and getting my hair done. BUT he works so I accept it as Im not working right now.

Dad has finally bonded and now our son loves him and cries for him sometimes (but loves me more)

Our relationship has gotten better. We don’t argue, we are understanding each other. I didn’t have much of a sex drive at 1st. I was allll baby & I’m sure my mothers out there can relate. Now it is creepin back slowly and YES I’M ON BIRTH CONTROL! Noneed for another too soon and I like having my body back (just not the boobs, those are his) Everything is falling into place. Maybe it’s the baby 😁.

His name is Junior *nickname* (He’s named after his father)

I am also taking 1 online class at a time at Southern New Hampshire University!! Master’s in English Creative Writing! (I’ll discuss in New Post)

I miss my bloggers soooo much! I’ll try to be more active now that I have energy :P.

Talk to me!

Catch Shade any time of the day! Shade is on Facebook! https://facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

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© 2018 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of all material without expressed and written permission from Shade But No Shade and its author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Shade But No Shade with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

My Infatuation for Pups!

Have you ever reached into your jacket pocket only to find a handful of treats? 

Or stayed on the couch a little too long because your pup was asleep on your lap? 

Yeah me neither. 

Well this can be adequately similar to most of you with pups, but for me I don’t carry treats outside and I don’t have a couch in my apartment….

But I LOVE the joy and admiration pups bring to the daily human lifestyle. 

For those of you whom have met Hunter, 

I now introduce to you…… 

HAILEY ❤ 

Hailey is a Yorkie full breed and was only 3 months when we got her! 

The first picture is when we first picked her up at the pet shop. In the pet shop we spotted her and they took her out and let her run to us. She immediately connected with us and bit our shoes up but she was sooooo cute! I had to have her! My bf got her for me because he’s the best! 🙂 

Creative Writing Feature: 3 Word Short Story!

(All I thought as I reread this was WHAT WAS I THINKING!! THAT COULD HAVE FLOWED BETTER!!!) (Also it is a lil creepy that I am 27 posting this story, character is 27…I was having a girl and so is the character! Only positive is I am still with my bae, we broke up a few times but that was prior to baby…..

And now as I reread this story I have lost my little girl, but you guys can read that post.) 

This post was written in my Write Like A Woman class at ISU. It was so hard to write a 3 word sentence! 

 

(Written: 12/1/13) 

           Sex too good. Don’t use protection. Bought First Response. Have to pee. Pee on stick. Oh no Pregnant! Damn I’m stupid. How could I? It’s his fault. He manipulates me. Says sweet things. Oh you’re sexy. Come join me. Bed too cold. I need you. I can’t resist. Under the covers. His hands smooth. Hot, lustful intentions. Damn….not again! Someone is knocking. Ugh read…sign. Do NOT disturb. We are busy. Come back later. I keep screaming. Oh….Guilty pleasures. He screams Becca! What the fuck? I am Stephanie.

Who is she? I push him. He rolls off. I get up. Shit, really Matt? You damn cheater! I’ve had enough. I’m getting dressed. Red dress on. Slips on heels. He smacks me. I kick him. He punches me. Ouch that hurts! Arm turns purple. I bite him. Scratch his throat. Then I run. He trips me. Kneel…shoe…off. I’ve got aim. Hit his head. He is raging. Walks toward me. He’s standing there. I’m crying again. Very mixed emotions. He starts crying. This doesn’t work. I’ve gotta go. The knocking stopped. It was her. It must be. Where’d she go? Purse in hand. He is shouting. Baby don’t go. She means nothing. Same old story. Write a book. I’m so done.

            Walking home alone. Fuming with thoughts. Emotions running wild. Tears falling nonstop. Grown adults fighting. Who does that?  I hate him. I’m freaking 27. Baby on board. I’ll raise him. Or maybe her. Hopefully not both. I’m against abortion. Time heals all. Don’t have time. I’m so confused. What’d I do? Thought we’d last. Guess imma fool. He played me. Really Becca though? She sounds familiar. Ohmygod. Please God no. Don’t tell me. Becca from school. In my class. That conniving bitch. She’s so fake.  He’s all hers. I’m so done. I’m moving on. Dead beat father.

The Ignorant World We Live IN!

How does a movie determine if I’m white or black??

If I curse

Why I dont smoke

Or drink

Get loud

Be ratchet

Act like other black people

Does that make me white? 

This goes back to when I was in a discussion and because I never watched one of Eddie Murphy’s movies I was questioned….

The movie was Coming to America

A movie created before I was born… 1988!! I’m a 90s baby! 

I was asked, “Are you black?” “Do you curse?” 

I laughed because it was a family member of my bf’s but when I thought about it,

this actually pissed me off!!!

My bf and I had a strong disagreement about it that night.

The type of movie I watch doesn’t have to do with race.

White people watch black movies…does that make them black?

NO.

People always say ignorant things…. especially black people!!!

Nooo Don’t End This Lovely Vacation!!!

Ugh we returned from Florida last week Tuesday and I sooooo didn’t want to come back!

I LOVED every part of Florida from Sea World to Universal to the villa we stayed in!

It felt amazing!!!

I wish we stayed longer.

I was super hype to see the Dolphins and Whales though…

It was the things you see on TV that actually became real in person….

Their flips and soaking the audience was fun and amazing!

We took over 600 pictures in total on vacation!

Unfortunately I can’t post them all! But here is a few! (The handsome man is the man who made my BDAY the BEST EVER!!! My BF <3)

 

 

I really can’t wait to go back!!

Everything felt right….and we plan on moving to Florida next year…

Our new home :D.

I have been to Disneyworld 4x now. Even though this time I only went to Magic Kingdom because that was the only thing we had time for in our budget…

But Thank God because my feet got tired quickly and I was tired. I didn’t have much patience either waiting on the lines in 90 degree weather!

I swear that was me all the time and especially when we got back to the villa.

We also played mini golf, arcade games, ate some bomb a** IHOP, paddle boating, flamingo paddle boats and watched Fireworks from our balcony!

I am on vacation from work until Saturday. It is very relaxing and exciting….

I was still in Fl mode the 1st few days we came back!

But I had to take my dog Hunter to the vet that Thurs we arrived after we picked him up Weds from the hotel he stayed at….

I had my own doctor appt which got canceled friday for Sunday and Sat I had my 5 hour class for driving to get my certificate for the license!

Whew! Busy busy!!

I just seen Kevin Hart (Monday June 5) as I am writing this…(see next blog post)

We also have a timeshare we purchased, ready to serve next year. It’s a 4 Bedroom villa apt! I will blog about that later with pictures! Hopefully anyone interested in a vacation in 2018 to Florida will let me know! yeah!

Talk to Me!

Catch Shade Anytime of the day! Shade is on Facebook! https://facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

© 2017 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of all material without expressed and written permission from Shade But No Shade and its author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Shade But No Shade y ith appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Best Place On Earth!!

Sooooo guys and gals…..

I’m FINALLY goin on vacation!!

I get to leave work for a long time!

I’m going to

Disneyworld!

Omgg I’m sooo thrilled!

Can you tell??

(Little humor there hehe)

We are staying in a beautiful villa!

I get to see my favorite character Minnie, and go to my favorite park Magic Kingdom …..and we are driving there so I get a bonus road trip! 

Why Can’t I Just Run Away!?

I’m a runner.

Been running my whole life.

Just realized this in a discussion with my bf.

I can never sit still because I never had a moment to breathe.

I was the girl that ran away from home at age 15.

I was the girl that ran away from my mother’s constant anger at me but hanging with friends or my grandma.

I was the teenager sick and tired of her mother yelling at her because she felt like I am her since I look like her.

Running away became a habit………

I ran away from the pain and suffering of being a rape victim.

Ran away from the exes that cheated on me and didn’t love me.

I Did Not Consent!!!

***This post was inspired by a show called The Quad on BET. Specifically Episode 8. As well as my bf stating that a woman shouldn’t dress in short skirts and dresses to escape rape….***

Why is it that someone who NEVER experienced RAPE always has something to say???!

It’s one thing to be empathetic, definitely sympathetic!

But to open your mouth and say something so absurd that makes you look disgusting!

If you have not experienced RAPE then you should be careful what you say!

You’re not even expressing hurt or pain about the situation but is yet DEFENDING the situation over a piece of fuckin’ clothing?!

Men in 2017 really got their heads screwed up!!!

The older men, really got stubborn ways of looking at life….well SOME.

RAPE IS:

“unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, WITHOUT the consent of the victim.” – via Dictionary.com 

RAPE IS NOT:

Unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration BASED ON THE TYPE OF CLOTHING one wears without the consent of the said victim….

Clean Up Your Mess!

Lately, I have been having the same discussions with 2 different people and get the same feedback.

No offense boys….

No offense men….

But why you gotta be so messy?!!

Now I must say my current bf makes his messes and …

IT IS STARTING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY!!

My best friend is dealing with the same issue, but her bf is a little more messier.

But my boyfriend and I just got an apartment together….

Ladies and gentlemen…

It’s only been a month and I already see the man slob.

SMH!

I get that sometimes you are a busy person and just want to throw clothes here and there but….when you have that day off, don’t you think you should pick it up?

YES YOU!

Him too, I guess 😀

Pure example…(my I use ellipses a lot..oops! Moving on..) After doing a butt-load of house cleaning 2 weeks ago; organizing the things we have in our 2 bedroom apartment with no furniture but at least it isn’t all cluttered in the living room with the dog….we accumulate laundry. His load higher than mine because he works every day and I am home at the moment.

Granted, we didn’t have a laundry bag because the bags were at the laundromat for drop off…yeah he hates washing clothes and swooped me into drop offs too…but when the bag came and it appeared empty, you would have thought he would put the dirty clothes in the laundry bag! Especially if he makes a new mess every day!

#Myfeelingsrightnow

He didn’t….that’s right ladies, shake your head because I am shaking it too.

I needed a break! I broke my back (not literally) cleaning the whole apartment and he can’t do the least thing. Just like when we got the clothes back, you would think he would organize and put them away…nope and they are still not put away because I take me time every day and he goes to work every day!

Then just yesterday he hooked the bathroom up with a softer seat, shower curtain and rugs and you would think he would throw away the plastics it came in…the garbage is right there!

NOPE!

Do I have to blow up for him to get the point?!!

Maybe….but I’ll talk to him about it instead. It’s just ugghhh!

I don’t mind being a housewife even though I don’t have a ring yet, but boyfriend needs to clean after himself cause he is not too busy to stay clean….

If you can shower, you can NOT be messy!

Good thing it is only 2 things so far, but geez…..I will train my son whenever I have him to be clean, not messy.

Oops did I say 2? Yeah I meant 3….I looked up as I thought about if this was enough and saw a pile of games on the floor (Oh, I am sitting on an airbed right now).

He scattered ps4 and Wii games all over to find one ps4 game…expecting me to clean it up….right?  RIGHT? Well I am NOT because it is his mess. SMH! #RantOver

Come on boys and men, tell me why you guys feel the need to be messy and expect women to clean up after you? 

Hey Hey Shade is still on Facebook! Follow her at https://www.facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

When Are You Going to Have MY Back?!!

I never have nobody back, they say.

But half the people that complain never have mine.

I defend other people’s honors, values, when expected..

Who does it for me?

I’m too nice to people.

I’m quiet because I always get the short end of the stick.

I’m never benefited in return yet I always seem to be the guilty one.

Most best friends are always like call me if you need me but when I do, they half ass ignore me!

When they call, I’m all ears.

But I don’t have no one’s back, they say.

I make people laugh, I stop them from crying….

But who is doing the same for me?

Who is making me laugh, stopping my tears?