Shade is a Mom!

Sorry for the disappearance since March. I was pregnant and hormonal and going through ups and downs with my bf…

I had a high risk pregnancy until about 30 weeks and let me say that I worried about everythaaannngggg!!

When I didn’t feel the same movements from baby as usual I went to the hospital a week before my scheduled c-section. He was fine and I was actually contracting without knowing or feeling it!

Now I may or may not have mentioned it, but I had a daughter born 22 weeks Sept 4th 2017 and she passed Sept 11th 2017….emergency c section.

I had major baby fever after and wanted a baby to hold so I wanted to try again and that I did!

My handsome baby boy was born June 21st at 4:33pm. So precious ❤ (Pics maybe laterrr)

He is 4 months now and a mommy’s boy!!! I LOOOVVVEEEE IT!!! It’s part from breastfeeding, part from holding him all the time which is why he is all up on mommy! Hehe

The best times are the snuggles! We started with tummy cuddles and now we co-sleep. I missed placing him on my tummy and falling asleep like that at 1st but now co-sleeping is easier!

Dad works and hardly participated but it wasn’t until recently that I make him little by little by going to the store and getting my hair done. BUT he works so I accept it as Im not working right now.

Dad has finally bonded and now our son loves him and cries for him sometimes (but loves me more)

Our relationship has gotten better. We don’t argue, we are understanding each other. I didn’t have much of a sex drive at 1st. I was allll baby & I’m sure my mothers out there can relate. Now it is creepin back slowly and YES I’M ON BIRTH CONTROL! Noneed for another too soon and I like having my body back (just not the boobs, those are his) Everything is falling into place. Maybe it’s the baby 😁.

His name is Junior *nickname* (He’s named after his father)

I am also taking 1 online class at a time at Southern New Hampshire University!! Master’s in English Creative Writing! (I’ll discuss in New Post)

I miss my bloggers soooo much! I’ll try to be more active now that I have energy :P.

Talk to me!

Catch Shade any time of the day! Shade is on Facebook! https://facebook.com/shadebutnoshade

In Need of More? Tweet with Shade! Shade is now on Twitter! https://twitter.com/ShadeBlog2015

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I Wish I Were A Kid Again!

Ever sing the Toys “R” Us jingle when it came on TV?

“I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys “R” Us kid”

WELL I USED TO SING IT ALLLLL THE TIME!! 

I used to be that kid singing it as if I really could be a kid.

But now I am 26 and all I keep wanting to do is:

At life’s toughest choices. Being an adult is soooo hard! You have to take on many responsibilities such as paying your own bills and having a real job.

Then if you can’t find a job, it is even HARDER to find one.

Life’s cycle is ridiculous. 

Being “Good Enough”…..Does It Ever End?

So lately I have been seeing many self esteem videos and people who lack thereof and I just can’t shake this off.

It made me think about the one thing most people ask, but don’t ask the right person.

Am I good enough? Or was I good enough?

But to whom?

Right now, I’m talking about to the parents.

As a child you are just shaping who you want to be. You work your way up to “what you wanna be when you grow up” and you look up to people.

When you become a young adult, you are still exploring life as brand new changes occur.

As an adult, you become wiser as you age and look back at your childhood and it’s like looking through a magnifying glass or a crystal clear mirror.

If you’re anything like me, you had the parent that was verbally abusive. Always yelling at you for no reason!

Then again, everyone’s childhood is different. I wish I had the 2 parent household with a home I can grow up in and just be a child. One can dream right?

Sooooo you push yourself to do better, to become better! To show them that you are better than what they see or what they once were. Some never notice though.

Manners….Where Have They Gone?

It’s refreshing to see SOME children these days act their age. They are in no rush to grow up, just being their cute little selves.

However, there are some that just won’t budge when you tell them what to do.

Nowadays there are some, not all…parents that have to work twice as hard to show their child that they must be respectful. Oh My!

I watch some children that enter my workplace and they speak to their parent as if they control their mom or dad. What!?

Girl: “Dad you must come now, I have to show you something. It’ll be quick. You can come back for that later.”

Dad: “In a moment, hun. I promise.”

Girl: “Dad! I said right now. Hurry up!”

It’s sad, but their little voices make it funny to hear. I shake my head at the madness and disappointment.

Children these days are cursing at their parents, singing along to the new Chris Brown & Tyga song and more, screaming, demanding and even saying adult sayings such as

as well as:

and it is not cute!

I was raised to ask for things and if I didn’t get it, I didn’t scream or throw temper tantrums.

I simply went to grandma :D. Lol Just kidding! Although she was my favorite, she spoiled me!