I’ve never been more afraid than I am now.
I’m running with nowhere to go.
Who’s got my back?
Where am I going?
You’re probably on the edge of your seat wondering WTF Shade is talking about?
Ok friends….I’m so okay physically.
As far as what’s in my head, I need to clear it.
The point of this blog?
Anywho I’ve been uber busy with this new promotion that keeps me more than exhausted….
My relationship is so good, I’m afraid…
I always get it at the start of new relationships and most of it is JUST ME.
He doesn’t ever do a thing, but I gain fear from whatever I previosuly been through….
Idk if it will ever change but I do hope that the last one is THE LAST ONE.…
But I find that I have to be open more. I open up and close all at the same time
There’s things I wanna say, but I am afraid to be judged upon…
Things I wanna do, but don’t feel ready to.
I’m young and worried ass all hell as to where I’m going.
I have direction, but no direction all at once.
My moment of wanting to scream comes back because I feel like there is so much on my mind, yet no one to hear me.
Let out all my emotion like…..
What do I actually do about it?
I realized since I was a kid, I’ve held in a lootttt….I was the kid that everybody talked to, yet no one heard…
YES. NO ONE HEARD ME….
I wear many smiles, but there’s always something deeper than that.
I’m sure you understand.
The going gets tough.
Thank God I have patience.
I have many external fears too, that being insects, rodents, dying….
I feel like I have a condition because I freak out when I see rats, mice, roaches, etc and I do not even think about killing them things. You be lucky if I don’t cry too! Ugh! Whyyyy do they even exist!
Then I fear getting old and what I will look like, how I will act, etc. I see a bunch of old people daily at my job and the bitter folks, boy I sure do hope I gain allll of my happiness so I don’t end up like them.
Then there are female fears such as will I ever have kids, be happily married (I am currently not of course and never have been!) and will I find Mr. Right ….blah blah you know Shade isn’t going to continue! Haha
What are your fears?? In and out of relationships that is….Speak as I want to hear it all!
Also, Don’t Forget! Shade But No Shade is now on Facebook! Catch Shade anytime of the day at https://www.facebook.com/shadebutnoshade!