Stop Crying!! Go Have Fun!

*Whoops late post as I have been a busy gal!

You may remember my post on Dumping the EX which you can read below!

This post is specifically about the actions of being the dumpee, not the dumper.

As usual I think of things all the time as I travel. As well as in conversations with friends and more. A friend of mine recently has been going through it with her boyfriend and she is nonchalant. It’s probably random for others, but for me I have seen it before. Sometimes you don’t need the pity party.

How come there is that instant sympathetic feel you get from friends when you tell them you dumped someone or has been dumped? They want to take you out and do all sorts of things to make up for it.

We Conform to society too much and it is time to stand up!ย 

The dumper may or may not have a harder time than you moving on. But if they dumped you, usually they don’t need the healing party.

Is this just a girl thing? I always wanted to know that so I am asking today.ย 

Stick around, it gets pretty funny. ๐Ÿ˜€

You automatically get judged for what happened in your previous relationship.
“Girl what did you do?”
If that’s not you, then you hear, “it’s about time.”
“What he do. Did he cheat?”
But my favorite is “Are you ok?”
Should I wallow in my sorrows over what just happened?
I deserve to sit and cry while he’s looking for the next step into…..


No Thanks.

I am almost sure the older you get, the less you care about breakups unless you seriously loved the other person.

Hear me out.

When I was younger, (yes I feel old at a quarter of a century ok?! Haha)
I thought I was in the best of relationships.
I was in love a few times….”puppy love”

Which was that fake lil young love…no pun intended to Chris Brown’s song but that was my song

(I can sing this song the entire way and it came out waaayyyy back in 2005)

Any who, I’ve had one of those and I broke that off for my own selfish reasons as a 14 yr old.

Then at 17 I was madly in love wit a college boy.
Ooo wee typical me! He was about 3 yrs older. I broke up with him too, but this one he deserved.

I wept probably for two days lol

That was then. I didn’t understand life and I’m still trying to figure it out.

I was the stereotype. Yes I’ll admit it.

I cried, ate ice cream, hung out with friends.

After that point I told myself I won’t be weak like that anymore.

Mr. Him as he is referred to…my current, my main today, is just wonderful.

Best relationship ever!

We aren’t perfect and had our splits and returns, he’s the only one that I know I care about more than life because it hurt my heart.

Those other people before didn’t mean nothin. What was wrong with me?

I wear my heart on my sleeve too often. Or well I used to. Whatever.

I’m not saying I don’t care these days, I’m just aware of what happens when ย you say “it’s over.” Or “we need a break”

I’ll save my tears for a Leonardo movie or any romance that touches my heart. ๐Ÿ™‚

sad, depressed, happy?

That should only last about a week. It’s okay to reflect for a few days as though if any less it shows you didn’t care.

Unless it was a relationship of just a week then by all means spare the tears!

There are stages to a break up.

Everyone heals differently.


Hearts are very fragile and as human beings we take advantage of the most vulnerable things/moments.

That definitely was how I used to feel, I felt as if *some men* only grabbed hearts just to break them because they are pointless and those men were losers. ๐Ÿ˜›

News flash ladies! You can always do better. Never settle for less.

What are some stereotypesย you are tired of that comes with being “single (again)” or being an ex that you wish would just end? How do you handle break ups?

Shade But No Shade is now on Facebook! Catch Shade anytime of the day atย!

16 thoughts on “Stop Crying!! Go Have Fun!

  1. oh how do I handle break ups????Badly or weirdly or unfairly or damn-it-dude-at-least-show-you-cared badly…like not feel anything right after the break up (guilty)….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A! Ms. Shade is back, I thought we were going to miss you on your Sunday post but you got it in just in the nick of time. LOL ๐Ÿ™‚ Breakups are a struggle on any heart (unless your heartless & cold) no matter if you’ve been dumped or are the dumper, but what defines the intensity of them are the amount of passion & dedication people put into it. It’s like you said, some people whom never truly love/care for their mates get over it quickly, while others whom have time (their hearts) invested in the turn around can take a toll on them. The goal in life isn’t to be single forever, jumping from relationship to relationship looking that Mr./Mrs. Perfect. It more about finding that one person who completes you, that you can work with to build the perfect future together; because let’s face it we all make mistakes and life lessons can be tough; but with that go-to person beside you, you’ll be ready. It very rare people find a Mr. Him or Ms. Her in today’s society; especially with people believing Monogamy is dead. Every week you share a little bit of your life with Mr. Him and from what I can see I think you have find your Perfect. Your relationship isn’t perfect but you are able to recovery and that’s what makes it so ideal. Being able to find someone like Mr. Him to go through life together for better or worst is a priceless luxury many people search their entire lives trying to find; and some never do. Some do find it but then F it up, and can’t fix it also, but most people don’t even get that lucky. So hold on to “Him” tight because losing that level of love & happiness will take eternity to recover once lost for good. Great post Ms. Shade, I love when you can speak from your heart freely. As for you questions at the end I can think of few situations but I’m mindful not to bore other readers with a “To Do List” long of a comment, so maybe next time. LOL ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gosh Ty! Speak from your heart will you?! ๐Ÿ˜€ Thanks for the comment, I agree. Hearts are able to mend, just slowly. HIM is great but he has kinks just like I do. I love to speak from the heart, it’s how you connect more with others. โค Lol You could have answered a couple!


Share Your Thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s