Those are the words of a confused person. A person that wants to be nice all the time perhaps and finally has the courage to say no. It felt like walking on water. It’s a breath of fresh air.
I’m talking about the Yes Man/Woman!
It’s just like this Jim Carrey classic:
If you haven’t seen it, it’s pretty funny!
A Yes Man/Woman throws out the word yes before giving it some thought.
For example: “Hey, can you help me move tomorrow? It’s just me and you know two hands are better than one.” The man/woman already know they have obligations or just really don’t want to do it but they are a genuine, nice person from birth so they feel like it is their responsibility to say YES!
Or They just got in from work. They want to get naked and relax. As soon as they lay down, their cousin asks them “hey man, can you run to the store for me? I have to start cooking, but I am missing one ingredient.” Every fiber and every bone in his/her body screams no, but it’s family so they take the latter right?
Let’s take it back to school days…..
You are in class and being the only responsible one jotting down homework and then actually turning it in the next day. Ruthless, obnoxious students that have been talking every day and every week, didn’t do the homework. They attempt to butter up one of the smartest people in class: You. “hey can I borrow your homework? I forgot to do mine.” You say YES and then next thing you know, the whole lazy clan is copying your homework. Sounds familiar?
Being a Yes Man/Woman allows you to be taken adavntage of. It makes you vulnerable in its own right and you had no idea you were being more than nice….you were being ripped apart by those who are supposed to love you. They know that while everyone screams no to them, they can count on you to say yes.
“Hey want to hang out this weekend?” (Not really, but I haven’t seen you in a while so yes.)
“Hey is this bottle of Grey Goose fine?” (Ugh clear alcohol? I was hoping for dark, but yes it works.)
“Do you like this dress on me?” (No I don’t but I’ll say yes to make her feel better.)
I’ve experienced friends who don’t want to hang, but they say yes. I was also the guilty homework girl once in the 8th grade. I wanted to be cool to the cute popular kid in school. It was the first and last time.
I know many people who experience the 3 scenarios above and in their head they fill in what’s in the parentheses and end up saying what the asker wants to here.
Friends and family will always try to barter you and make you feel like a melting pot when they don’t get their way. So rather instead of saying no, you fall for it every time and say yes.
If one is in a relationship, this can raise conflict because the significant other will wonder if they can count on an instant yes from you too.
I’m not saying you have to say No allllllllllllll the time as courtesy and kindness goes a long way. I mean it in the sense that they won’t abuse your “yes” power like they can’t do things themselves or they don’t know that you have a life too. Sometimes its healthy to say no for your benefit. You need some of your own time too without it being taken away by someone else asking you to run errands they can do on their own.
Now…….I haven’t experienced this one, but there is also: A NO Man/Woman
These people may appear miserable and bitter. Some of them are. Some of them just don’t take no ish/no mess/no drama from nobody. They walk around with their heads held high and will straight up tell you NO!
They just don’t give a damn. Perhaps the Yes Man/Woman can learn from them a bit? Actually they can help each other.
While it’s good to throw in a few no’s, it’s actually okay to start saying yes when you say no all the time.
A No Man/Woman can throw you for a loop if you didn’t know said person was one or if you are just passing by looking for directions or an opinion.
“Hey can you do me a favor” No.
“Can I borrow the car to go downtown?” No.
“Do you need help preparing for dinner?” No.
“Want to go shopping this weekend?” No.
Dangggg homie! It’s just no all the time. How do you respond to that? Please help me out! People who say no all the time probably scares me a little.
I believe everyone in the world are human. To each its own right? There are people that don’t mind helping, but they lack in realizing its more than help. Then there are others who just don’t want to help at all. It’s a strange world.
So tell me, how do u do it? Have you ever switched between saying yes/no too often or less? Does someone take advantage of it?
When do u stop saying yes and start saying no? As well as vice versa.
Life is too short to put barriers on such things.