If you haven’t guessed it, I’m talking about when ya homie/ya sister/ya brother/ya cousin/ya best friend/ya significant other BAILS ON YOU! That’s right. They put you in the holding cell because either they double booked you or they just didn’t know how to tell you no. Who knows, maybe they did have plans to chill/hang with you but something better came along.
Whatever the case is, you’ve become all too familiar with it. You know how it makes you feel. It’s probably just like how it makes me feel. When this happened to me before, I was a little disappointed.
A friend could always use a good talk with some drinks (innocent or not) as well as a good movie and dinner. But as I grew up (and still growing might I add!) I realized that there is no need to feel emotion towards being stood up because when the time comes when they need me, I probably won’t be here.
Especially when they bail just to stay home and be on Facebook! The nerve!
Then there are the friends that drive around the “no you can’t come sign” or beat around the bush when trying to avoid you. If it’s not you, then it’s your friend that they don’t like. So they try to manipulate you as you are their great friend into uninviting your plus one! This is a straight up, no questions asked NO-NO! It’s rude and will make your friend ponder about the friendship you really have.
But……there are times when you have bailed too! As shameful as it makes me, I have done it too. We are all human, things come up and it enforces a new plan.
I didn’t know what standing people up meant until High School because that’s when friends became shady.
I try not to bail unless I absolutely HAVE to! For example, if I am super sick and I can’t get out of bed, I’m not going outside. If I am emotionally or mentally disconnected whether it’s because of a break up or I am broke or I am have book withdrawal (lol) then I am staying in. If work makes me tooooo tired for that late night plan that I really wanted to attend, then I just won’t go. Our bodies can only take but so much! I always reschedule to a day that is open and everyone is healthy! 😉
If you have concerns with the company your friend keeps, speak to them personally before invites and make sure they hear you out and look for the signs, but if they still rocking with their friend then you just have to let it be.
Just don’t flip flop! One minute you can’t be cool and cordial with the plans and the next make adjustments such as “you know what? He/She can’t come anymore.” Then your friend may not want to come either because what’s the point if you just made them angry. #JustSaying.
Uninviting is unattractive and not a good look! Every time you bail on someone, they see this:
I miss the days when we had only talk on our phones so you had no choice but to call and continue the plans or actually cancel over the phone. Voices make it harder to cancel…but thanks to texting it is not easier!
Now when a man bails on a woman, watch out! If it’s relationships, then that can raise an eye. Unless he has “mandatory guy’s night” or is a family man. Bailing on playing ball though? They always wait til like next Friday! Haha
Women don’t intentionally bail….at least not all the time. There are some that are spiteful and do it just because. But as emotional beings, we always feel bad about it. Then we catch up like good old best friends!
If the opposite sexes bail on each other, there’s always a reason! Communication is the key to friendships as well.
In school, friends change their minds all the time because it’s college! Parties everywhereeee! Why sit in the house and drink or go to a bar when there are drinks and people at that cool frat party? Ummm helloooo! Too bad that wasn’t me!
I wasn’t the frat/sorority party person, but I’ve seen it happen before. Such is life. But when they were live in action and campus was empty, I’d say:
Whew! That is all. I just had to let that one go! Remember to consider the other person because you never know when you’ll see them again.