I feel like my own hair police most times. Growing up, it’s all people wanted to do!
Just the thought of a person’s hands in another person’s hair for a long period of time is unappealing. Someone’s gruesome, dirty, unsanitized hands to want to touch your fresh, flat ironed, or curly hair! They just ate and touched a glass and immediately want to touch. Ew! At least wash ya hands first.
If you just realized your friends has done that then I’m sorry! A person’s hands that dirty has never been in my hair, I just have a vivid imagination!
It doesn’t matter if your hair is natural, has weave or tracks; long or short the issue stands for everyone.
Touching my hair also came with the “is it real? or is it yours?” question. The answer is YES! It’s not THAT hard to tell the difference, let alone FEEL the difference! Especially coming from women. SMH
The worst is when they don’t ask and they just do. Ummmm….NO! No way. Pump ya brakes. How would you feel if someone did that to you?
Ever met someone that loves touching hair, but hates theirs being touched? Yeah, I haven’t either. But I’m sure they are out there.
This has happened to me ever since I was about 7 years old:
Ugh! Isn’t the point of a question to wait for an answer? It literally “grinds my gears” as Peter from Family Guy would say. Lol!
My hair is a good length, given the fact that I am mixed. I have also been taking care of it since I stopped getting perms in the 6th grade. I did it all by myself. Yay me! Haha.
I usually get asked “How did you get your hair so long?” Only to assess the situation and find the right way to tell my process to whom is asking.
I usually have a hard time taking compliments because I am not a shallow or egotistical person, but I believe sometimes it is a positive initiative when asked about one’s hair. I don’t mind if a great friend of mine wants to touch my hair (as long as their hands are clean!)
Strangers have never asked me and I am very thankful. I hope they never will lol.
The BEST outcome is when you go to a hair salon and get a “hair massage” from the hair dresser. Sure the Dominicans don’t play when they burn our heads with blow dryers (lol) buuuttt sitting in the chair to get that hair washed and that good scratch! It definitely goes a long way. Come out the salon feeling like:
Am I right or am I right? 😉
Then there are those family members that hate on the new do and immediately want to feel the just outta the salon look. Like if you don’t move! Girl/Boy Bye!
Sometimes I wish I had the free will and the over 1,000s of years of strength as a Vampire like the Originals/Vampire Diaries so I can do this the next time my hair is touched unasked and unwanted:
Hair Touching is just one of those things that needs a stop sign and a siren. #JustSaying
Here are two clips that follows up great with “Don’t Touch My Hair!”
The Real – 5 beautiful ladies & my favs that discuss the matter:
Chris Rock and his friends in Good Hair said it best at 0:00-0:16:
What was your experience like? Did it make you angry? Do you embrace it? It happens to more than just “Black” people aka African Americans, I’ve seen it. Share your thoughts as I’d love to hear them!
Shade But No Shade 
Hey Ms. Shade,
How are you doing, I know its being a while since I was last on here dropping comment bombs, but here goes another one. LOL 🙂
I love this post! Specifically because it reminds me of so much time this has have to me! YES ME!
I know, I know what you’re thinking “A guy having this hair problem, that’s crazy!” but yes it happens to guys as well.
All my life I’ve had long hair, and thanks to my multicultural background, my hair was always the curly, wavy, thick and rich texture. Growing up, and throughout my childhood and teens years, I’ve always had periods of braided hair styles, ponytails, flat iron straight, twist, etc; but I always had periods of low cuts too; dark caesars, fade tops, etc. So off and on through the years I would cut my hair and grow it out; but whenever I was growing it women/girls always wanted to touch and play in my hair. No matter if I had just done fresh braids or was rocking the slick back ponytail & rubber band; the ladies were obsessed with my hair. I had women who wanted to do my hair in different styles for me, just to get their “touch on” and girls who befriended me (fake girlfriends) just to get close to my hair. People even started noticing my hair before they noticed me. I’d get compliments and comments like: “WOW Ty, you’re hair is so long its down to your back” & “Hey cutie with the braids on fleek, can I get your number” so naturally I took advantage of this unwanted, & often abrupt attention.
It was never all fun & games though, sometimes people wanted to touch my hair after just coming out from the bathroom (Like Did You Wash Those Hands) & after just touching or doing something else that dirty or germ’s their hands (Like No Boo Boo, You Betta Get Tha Purell Honey Dip!) lol 🙂
So I think its safe to say that guys are effected by this too, but its not just a race, or girl its a every one because I had a few friends back in college, that didn’t like other people touching their hair; #ITried&Failed but I always found it funny how they love to play & touch up in my hair but I could never touch theirs even if it wasn’t done.
Anyways keep doing whatcha doing Ms. Shade, and don’t think I forgot about you just because I’m not commenting on every post, I’m a extremely busy man, but I’ll always make time to read what you write and/or wrote if I’m a day or week or two behind. lol 🙂
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Well hey welcome back! Lol Thanks! I know it does happen to men too. That’s funny how it happened to you. 😉 I agree, it does happen to everyone! And people do the same thing all the time! Touch with unsanized hands or try to without thought. Thanks for reading! 🙂
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Eeeekkkk I don’t want someone I don’t know touching my hair!! That would freak me out. It’s part of our personal stuff, peeps! You have a witty writing style and I’m glad to be here, Karen 🙂
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I know right! It freaks me out too. Some people just don’t understand! Tell them girl! 😉 lol. Thank you, I’m glad you can be here Christy! 🙂
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Hehe okay I’ll tell ’em and you do the same! 🙂 Have a great Monday, Karen!
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Of course! 🙂 Thanks, you have a great Monday as well Christy!
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“My hair is a good length, given the fact that I am mixed.” My hair grows to a nice length and I’m not mixed. (Be careful of the message you’re sending… There are black girls w/ natural hair down their backs.)
My whole life Ppl have liked to touch my hair, especially wn I wear it curly, and now because it’s blonde. Most say it’s because it looks so soft. They’re often surprised how soft it is considering its been bleached. But I’m not one of those “Never-touch-a-black-girls-hair” black girls. I usually don’t mind as long as they ask first.
I have a thing for curly hair. I used to be guilty of reaching out and pinching a nice head of curls. I was flirting, but it hit me one day that that’s kind of assault, so I started asking first. 😀 But guys are easier about such things. They just like that a woman wants to touch them. I play in my own curls as well.
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Yeah I didn’t mean to raise conflict. What I meant is well for one I identify as mostly Black because that’s how I grew up, but based on my actual nationality I am mixed. Not too many of my friends/readers know that. I meant it to say that I know some friends mixed and not mixed who struggle with getting length. I’ve been asked by multiple races how do I get my hair so long. That’s why I added that I just found ways to maintain it on my own. 🙂 My hair is passed my shoulders. I didn’t want to just put I’m black and then get looked at as if I’m more than that + an eye roll. I don’t like judgement without people knowing me. So I am aware of how I placed it, but It was awareness like “oh I didn’t know that” as I am always asked “what’s your nationality.” But I understand your point!
That’s good. I am still struggling with curls, I want to do it naturally but I am afraid my hair will mess up. With the right hair dresser, and lotions/creams depending on your hair, the dye won’t have that much affect. I had bright red hair and dyed it every 3 months, then I changed to dark brown because college days were over haha and I am sure I don’t have to but I use Pink lotion and olive oil just to maintain the softness. But hair is different for everyone. Girlll you are different from me! But at least you appreciate being asked first.
I love hair that trails down to the lower back. It feels princess like and its really pretty so I know what you mean when you say that you have a thing for curly hair. I just only ask my friends tho, never strangers. Guys definitely are easier about it. Some even love touching women’s hair.
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